I Think I Say This Every Year…

“WOW! I can’t believe another year has passed already.” 2017 seemed to go by double quick with our little one around. Our son has changed and grown before our very eyes these 14 months. I wonder what this fresh, new year will hold for the 3 of us! I’m excited to find out!

New Year Resolutions

It’s traditional when entering into a new year to think of some goals you would like to accomplish. I have been thinking about mine a lot, so I thought I’d share them with you all.

My Top Three Goals for 2018!

Here they are folks!

  1. Be healthier and lose weight! I know, I know, typical. But seriously this is important to me, especially as my son is becoming more and more mobile. I want to be more than be able to keep up. Truly the goal is to be healthier, by eating a good diet and staying active. One of the best ways to be healthier is simply to cut out sugar, so I’m saying, “No sugar in 2018!”
    • Foods that spike your blood sugar cause your body to store excess sugars in fat cells. I have been reading Trim Healthy Mama and it is an incredible guide to live by to be healthy. It’s wonderful because it’s something you can ease into just by tweaking your own recipes, and your family will barely notice and will be eating healthy as well!
    • I’ve also been learning more about the immune system. (A journey that began as Lil’ Dino Daddy and I decided we would not be vaccinating our son. This begs the question, what will protect us all from illness?) Coupled with adding immunity boosting supplements to our diet such as Vitamin C, Elderberry Syrup, and Colloidial Silver, we are both very serious about removing sugar from our diet, for one very simple reason that sugar FEEDS bacteria. Gross! So essentially, when you are sick and eat sugar, you are making it more difficult for your body to heal. Our family will be switching permanently to a stevia blend. Does this mean we won’t touch sugar at all this next year? Realistically no, when we are out and about. However, I will not be purchasing sugar, white flour or white rice this year, (and that includes reading labels). so all my cooking and baking will be done without these two items.
  2. Continue to find areas to be more frugal in so that we can save as much money as possible and make our dream of farm living a reality. one way I’d like to do this is by getting really serious about meal planning with the items already in our pantry and freezer, and significantly limit eating out.
  3. Read through the Bible in chronological order. What better way to stay focused on the right things than to be in the Word consistently? This was actually a project I started back in November, but the app I use only starts at the beginning of the Bible in January, so it has now morphed into a New Year’s Resolution.

What about you?

What goals are you setting this year for you and your family?

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My Husband Rocks!

I’m so grateful for my husband. If it weren’t for him, raising my little son would be so much more difficult.

I was really able to appreciate the partnership we have today. He was busy cleaning up our place after the holiday frenzy.

We were quite a team and Daddy was the MVP. I cooked breakfast and he fed our hangry son. I did the dishes; he took care of some laundry. I sat down to nurse our son, he vacuumed the living room. Then our lil’ dino decided he wanted to help Daddy vacuum. He waddled over to him, humming the pitch of the vacuum (hilarious!), and my husband picked him up and kept about the task.

Coffee or Bust

At this moment, I could have finished the dishes, or dusted, or cleaned bathrooms (all on today’s list), but I didn’t. Instead I longingly set my gaze on my still hot cup of coffee. Usually, I get my coffee going and sneak a couple sips in while I’m spooning oatmeal into my son’s mouth. Then he finishes eating and it’s not too much time before he’s ready for a nap. By the time I get him settled, and go back to my coffee, it’s cold. Sometimes I microwave it, or top it off, but there’s just something about the first, fresh cup that’s better than all the others.

With my husband rocking all the house chores (without even realizing the night before I had written out in a list everything he was doing and it was blessing my socks off!), I didn’t want to just sit down and drink my coffee. That was just too unproductive, (though he would have let me do it).

Then with angelic voices singing in my head, an idea struck me. I need a shower…badly. So I meandered on over towards our bedroom, grabbing my steaming coffee mug off the table as I passed.

Needless to say I thought I was brilliant! I even thought about lighting a candle, but decided not to push this too far up the expectation scale. I mean, what are the chances I’ll get to shower uninterrupted? Just the other day, I had to end my shower prematurely with one leg half shaved and the other…well, not.

This is the Life

I turned the water on HOT, and set my mug on the ledge, and just stood there and relished in the quiet moment I was blessed with.

Thank you, Lord, for this peaceful moment.

Guess what happened then? Nothing! I was able to enjoy my shower, and my coffee, AND get dressed (completely shocking, that one) without interruption. What a refreshing event. Now, I’m ready for anything! Including the massively poopy diaper 5 minutes later. But hey, that was going to happen with or without a shower…or coffee…or clothes… 😉

“You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.”
Psalm 68:8 NIV

What about you?

What has your spouse done to bless your socks off? What can you do to be a blessing in return?

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My Very First Prenatal Exam

Shortly after finding out I was pregnant, my husband and I joyfully skipped off to my first prenatal appointment. We were both so excited and ready to see our very first baby, in our very first sonogram, AND, as my cousin had informed me, hear our very first baby’s heartbeat!

We waited patiently, but also anxiously, in the exam room for the doctor. Once she arrived and talked to us a bit, she had me prepare for the ultrasound. As the image appeared on that black and white screen, she said nothing. My heart raced as I waited for her to explain what was on the screen.

Time has made the details a little hazy, but she basically told us, “I can’t confirm the pregnancy because all I can see is a gestational sac.”

I asked, “But doesn’t a gestational sac mean I’m pregnant?

“She said, “I can’t confirm that.”

So many thoughts went through my head at once. What?! I might not be pregnant? I don’t understand! How can there be a gestational sac without a pregnancy? She went on to tell us that they would be doing a blood draw on me that day, and then again two days later, to check my HCG levels. “In two days, the HCG levels should double from the number determined today,” she explained.

We listened, then went over to the room to have my blood drawn. Then we left, pretty deflated, and much changed from the bubbly couple we were just an hour ago, when we had arrived at the office.

Now, We Wait…

Two days later, I went back in for the second blood draw. They later called me to tell me the results from the first day. It would be still another two days before we would know if the levels had doubled.

Two days later, it happened to be Friday, and I was at work when they called to tell me my levels. The nurse who made the call left a voice message asking me to call her back. Simple. Calm. Nothing at all to imply urgency. She called a second time, and left a similar message. I noticed and listened to these messages once I had my break at about 4:30 pm. I immediately called the office, which was to close at 5:00 pm but the recording informed they were now closed until Monday. I went ahead and left a message that I was returning the nurse’s call, and that was that for the weekend. I was disappointed that I didn’t know what the levels were, but there was nothing I could do about that, so I continued on through the weekend.

On Monday, the nurse calls me again, saying my levels did not double and I needed to come in right away because I might be having an ectopic pregnancy. “I can schedule you for 9:00 am today,” she said.

“I can’t come in this morning,” I replied. “I have to work.” She was clearly thoroughly agitated that I wasn’t taking her more seriously.

She said, “This is very serious as your tube could burst!” She then emphasized how she had called several times on Friday in an effort to reach me. I pointed out she had only called twice and that there was nothing in her messages to indicate an urgency to the situation. I also informed her I had tried to call back well before the office closing time. I assured her I would be in the following day and she scheduled the appointment, telling me that if I had any pain to go to the emergency room.

Was This All Too Good to Be True?

I got off the phone and felt a little dazed. What was happening? Was it really possible I was going to lose this baby I’d only gotten to know of for a couple weeks?

I called my husband and let him know the situation, and then did a little online research about ectopic pregnancy.

“An ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants somewhere other than the main cavity of the uterus. Pregnancy begins with a fertilized egg. Normally, the fertilized egg attaches itself to the lining of the uterus. An ectopic pregnancy most often occurs in one of the tubes that carry eggs from the ovaries to the uterus (fallopian tubes). This type of ectopic pregnancy is known as a tubal pregnancy. In some cases, however, an ectopic pregnancy occurs in the abdominal cavity, ovary or neck of the uterus (cervix). An ectopic pregnancy can’t proceed normally. The fertilized egg can’t survive, and the growing tissue might destroy various maternal structures. Left untreated, life-threatening blood loss is possible. Early treatment of an ectopic pregnancy can help preserve the chance for future healthy pregnancies.” -Mayo Clinic

Ok, so what’s the treatment?  Removal.

Now, I’m not here to debate the moral dilemma this situation creates. I will however, tell you that my immediate response to reading this was NO, I WILL NOT! (Before I continue, I just want to say that I did not have to actually make a decision as the pregnancy was not ectopic, so please don’t take my initial response as advice or even as a suggestion, if you are in this situation.)

Giving it to God – Act of Faith as Small as a Baby Blanket

Throughout all this, in my spare time I had been making a baby blanket. My great-grandmothers both crocheted regularly while they were alive and I was determined I would crochet a blanket for this baby, because I knew they would have if they were around. I wasn’t very good at it though, and my stitches were very inconsistent. I turned that blanket every which way trying to get it big enough, and…ummm…square. Truth be told, it was (and still is) the most dilapidated blanket I have ever seen. But it is precious to me and this is why.

I began the blanket in my excitement about the pregnancy… before the doctor’s appointment… before the drama. In my anxiousness, I continued to make the blanket, and as I made it I prayed over and over again for the long-awaited baby I just knew had to be in my womb. As I prayed and made the blanket, I listened and sang “Oceans” by Hillsong United over and over again, and made this my prayer as well. It’s a beautiful song. It’s a song of faith. It’s a song of trusting in God. My continuing to make the baby blanket was my act of faith; my token between God and I, that I trusted Him.

If you have never heard “Oceans”, I’ve included it here.

You see, I knew that no matter what happened, my all-knowing, ever-present, almighty God was with me, and He could grant me the life of my child. Yes, I knew that He could also choose not to, but I prayed that He would, and deep down within me I trusted that this baby would be carried to term, and get to use the blanket I was making.

The Sweetest Sound

After all the tests had been run, my husband and I went back in to the doctor’s office for another sonogram. As we pulled into the parking lot, I asked my husband to pray for us. “Pray that we can see the baby in the right place and that we will hear the heartbeat.” He did just as I asked.

We checked in. We sat. We waited. Finally, we were taken to a dim room with the sonographer, not the doctor. I remember well how notably sweet and pleasant this woman was. She seemed unaware of the shadow that had been cast on this occasion the previous week. As she moved the equipment around in the goop on my belly, my husband and I had our eyes glued to the screen. Right as the image came up on the screen, we heard it! The sweetest sound that brought tears to both my husband’s and my eyes: our baby’s heartbeat! 

“There’s your baby, ” the pleasant woman announced! We looked at each other and laughed softly as we realized the other was crying too.

“Is it in the right place?” I inquired, as I smiled, listening to the pitter pattering “da dum da dum da dum….”

“Oh, yes,” she answered, brightly. She continued to explain to us the baby’s current size, that the baby was about 7 1/2 weeks gestation, and then gave us an estimated due date. The heaviness on our hearts was lifted, and replaced once again by the overwhelming joy we had experienced just a few weeks early when we discovered I was pregnant.

“Thank you, Lord, for granting us the life of this child. Thank you, thank you, Lord.”

We proclaim how great you are and tell of the wonderful things you have done.”
~Psalm 75:1~

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Thanksgiving is Quickly Approaching

I began this evening writing out a different post. I paused to put my son to bed. (He had been playing hard and giggling lots with his Daddy.) As he nursed quietly in the dark, I felt him relax and I knew he was asleep. That relaxing has become so familiar to me now, but it wasn’t always.

Before reading tonight’s Bible passages, I opened up the Prime Photo App on my phone. Every day, the app will feature all the pictures from prior years. This has become something my husband and I do daily, and then we chat about it. “Hey, did you see this picture from 2009?”

Hard Times

I browsed through the pictures quickly, really noting the ones from this day last year. It was a really difficult time for our new, little family.

My son was not gaining weight, but growing in length, and was looking….well, he looked like a starving baby. He didn’t have the precious, chunky baby fat that most full-term babies have. He was very thin. These pictures are so hard to look back at, but still I scrolled through them. This day last year is definitely the worst my son ever looked…

At the time, I didn’t recognize by looking at him that he wasn’t well. He was just my beautiful baby boy whom I love so, so, so much.

Come Before His Presence with Thanksgiving

After looking over these pictures, I opened up the Bible app on my phone and saw the featured verse:

“Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods.”
Psalm 95: 1-2

That’s when I decided my post for this evening needed to be different.

I am so thankful for my son. I’m thankful for his health. Today, I watched him eat porridge and blueberries for breakfast, eggs with cheese, and apple for lunch, and squash and peas for dinner, not to mention he still breastfeeds throughout the day and night like a champ. I’m so thankful that we don’t have to watch him struggle to eat…struggle to live. I’m thankful for his smile and his laugh and for the awesome privilege of watching him learn something new almost every single day.

After I finished my Bible reading for the night, I set my phone down, and lifted my sleeping son onto my shoulder and hugged him as I do every night. I’ll admit, I hugged him a little closer and a little longer than I do most nights. I’m just so glad he’s in my life. I’m so thankful I have the privilege of being his Mommy, and getting to share this journey of life at the side of my husband.

6 Reasons I Am Thankful

We all have many things to be grateful for, but it can be easy to lose sight of our blessings, when we lose perspective on what our hope is. Our hope is in the Lord.

Although, it is not exhaustive, here is a list of 6 reasons I am thankful.

  1. I am thankful for my husband. This man is incredible. He was incredible before I could call him “mine”. He’s extremely intelligent and loves to dig for the truth in God’s Word. He loves the Lord. He is a wonderful father. It is such a joy to see him guide our son, even at such a young stage of life. He is an amazing husband, a true leader in our home, and the love of my life. He is an encourager. He is a visionary, who makes our dreams into plans so they can become a reality. I am thankful for his love.
  2. I am thankful for my son. I know I already wrote this, but truly, this child is so precious to me. He brings me such joy, and forces me to be a better person just in the very fact that I have to be a good example for him in everything I do and say because he is watching and learning. He is smart. He is healthy. He is strong. He is willful. He is cuddly and learning to be affectionate. I can already see signs of empathy in him as he is sensitive to how other babies feel. I am so thankful I get to watch him grow up!
  3. I am thankful for our health. Although, I don’t always do what I need to do to take care of my body as God would have me to, I have been blessed with good health. My husband and son have too. I am doing what I can to learn about keeping our bodies strong and healthy, so that we can honor God with what he has given us. Our bodies are a gift and we need to take care of them, rather than abuse them.
  4. I am thankful for our home. This one can be difficult for me sometimes because I have to catch myself when I begin to complain about it. Since moving to the apartment this past summer, I have really missed our house. I have missed the giant sink that actually held all my dirty dishes. I have missed our backyard, and the space, and our neighbors. But I am thankful for this home. It is more than sufficient as a safe, comfortable roof over our head. We have a lot more in this apartment than many other people, and we need to be thankful for it, even when it lacks what our larger home did. This apartment has encouraged us to do so much we needed to do, to include purging STUFF. We have so much stuff we do NOT need, and living in a smaller space has helped us let go of a lot of extra, unneeded, and truly unwanted stuff. It has forced us to be creative in our gardening. We wasted a lot of good soil in our yard and working with a small space has helped us appreciate what we will do when we have more land again. Most importantly, it pushes us to work towards our goals – the very reason we moved here in the first place: to save more money than we could have in our house.
  5. I am thankful for time with my family. Living closer to my husband’s work cut my husband’s commute by over an hour. This helps us save money on gas and car maintenance, but most importantly, it has enabled us to spend more time together. Not only is my husband home longer in the mornings before he leaves for work, but he also is home much earlier. AND as a bonus, a couple times a week, he comes home for lunch, which is such a sweet treat for both my son and me.
  6. I am thankful for God’s gift of salvation and His Word. God has blessed me with all of the above, and so much more than I can mention. Even if I had none of the aforementioned blessings, I would still be abundantly blessed in the Lord. To know God and be covered by His grace is a gift more incredible than anything. God loves me. Wow! Jesus sacrificed His very life so that I may live forever with Him one day in His kingdom. All my wrongdoings have been forgiven. In Christ, I find my joy, and the “peace that passes all understanding” – a peace that cannot be found apart from him. This is what I am most thankful for. It is a privilege to be able to study the scriptures with my husband, and pass this knowledge on to my son as we guide him through life. This is what I consider our greatest responsibility.

So, what about you?

Have you been taking the blessings of life for granted? What are you most thankful for?

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
1 Chronicles 16:34

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Disappointment

When my husband and I were wanting to have a baby, we expected that I would become pregnant within a few months. Three years later, we were frustrated and discouraged. I asked a friend of mine to pray. She had struggled for years and then had her miracle baby.

Wisely, she cautioned me, “Don’t let conception become your idol.”

This is something that I really needed to hear as I was letting our plan to have a baby overtake my life. I felt like less of a woman because I wasn’t becoming pregnant and I was resentful of my husband because I was certain he didn’t care as much as me. I know now I was angry with God although I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. Why wasn’t He letting my husband and I have children?

God’s Grace is Sufficient for Me

We became certain that we just weren’t going to have any children naturally. I had to pray to the LORD daily and say, “My husband is enough for me.”

I realize now the error in this statement, even though it was a step in the right direction, what I should have been saying to God was, “Lord, YOU are enough.”

You see, God’s grace is sufficient in all circumstances.

Remember Jōb

Have you read the story of Jōb in the Bible? It’s fascinating. It makes me sad. It’s humbling, and it provides perspective.

This man literally lost everything. He lost his entire family. He lost all his wealth and possessions. He lost his good health. In all that, he did not dishonor God.

A Story with a Happy Ending

The story has a happy ending (my favorite kind of ending!). Job was blessed again by God with a family and wealth, but far beyond that, he was blessed with salvation. God’s grace was sufficient for him…even when it was the only thing he had.

So whether you are struggling with conception or a trial of a different type, seek God’s will as you remember that it is He who gives us our every breath. Our lives are a gift.

Perspective

One of the lessons I learned because of the time we waited for God to bless us with our son, is that it is God who opens the womb.

Only He can create life. No amount of “trying” on our part was going to do any good without God’s timing. My husband and I didn’t “make a baby”. God made a baby, and He gave us charge over him.

I thank God for our son. I thank Him for entrusting this little person to us and we pray that we will raise him to be a good, kind, and God-fearing man.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

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Money, Money, Money!

Some say that money is the root of all evil. Well, actually the Bible says that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10) This simply means that money should not be our idol. It does not mean that we should never think about money or should never have money. In fact, the Bible encourages wisdom when handling our assets, and even talks about wealth as a good thing. It is wise to save money and even to invest it.

Invest? Are You Crazy? I’m in Debt and Living Paycheck to Paycheck!

Ok, so maybe you have some steps in between now and investing. That’s ok. The important thing is to get started! The most important aspect in my opinion is to GET OUT AND STAY OUT of debt. It is the black hole of a healthy financial lifestyle. Also, BUDGET. As Dave Ramsey says, “Every dollar has a name.” I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU). Not only does it outline simple steps for how to handle your money, but it is a great way for you and your spouse to get on board the same train…the mental train of thought that is!

Healthy Financial Habits are Good for Your Family

You may have heard that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Did you know that a high percentage of those divorces end due primarily to fights over money? Being unified as husband and wife (or Daddy and Mommy, as your kids see you) is so very important for the health of your family. Kids are smart and they see what you argue about. They worry about what you worry about. This Lil’ Dino Mommy tries really hard not to argue or fight with Lil’ Dino Daddy in front of our son…even if he is just a year old. You may be thinking, “Surely, at such a young age, he won’t know.” or “He won’t remember.” Perhaps not, and I hope you’re right about that because I’ve already failed in not losing my temper with my husband in front of him. But there are two reasons why I really want to keep working towards the “Don’t fight in front of your kids” rule.

  1. Perfect Practice Makes Perfect. The behaviors and words we are used to doing and saying on a day to day basis are going to be what our kids see. It’s not like we can flip a switch and suddenly be a different person. Besides, in those moments of anger, we are told not to sin. Feeling angry in and of itself isn’t sinful. It’s how we handle that anger that makes a difference. I want to practice right now, today, the self-control I will need in the future. If my husband and I are in the habit of speaking kindly to one another and dealing with arguments at another time or place, then when push comes to shove (metaphorically, of course!), we will be able to do the same in the future. Besides, we should be dealing with one another kindly whether or not there are little eyes watching. Which brings me to…
  2. Monkey See. Monkey Do. Who hasn’t heard this phrase? I’ll do you one better, who wasn’t told as a kid by some adult, (maybe not your parents, well…maybe them too), “Do as I say, not as I do”? And who, if you were a teenager, didn’t think, “Yeah right!” We are supposed to model for our children the correct ways to behave and to speak. A perfect example of this in my own life was a couple months ago. I was talking to my husband, frustrated about something, but not at him, and I threw down a pair of pants I was folding as I exclaimed about it. My son, 10 months old, said, “Argh!” and threw down his toy. Oh…hold up there Lil’ Dino Mommy, get it together because your BABY boy is watching you oh, so closely. Another example of this is eating healthy. I really want my children to have healthy eating habits. It is something I have really struggled with all my life and I don’t want them to struggle the same way. The BEST way for me to ensure this is to give them the knowledge on what healthy eating looks like AND model that knowledge in our day to day lives. Eating healthy has to be a lifestyle, not merely a New Year’s Resolution or a fad.

Getting to the Point

So, we all need to practice and model good habits for our kiddos. This includes how we handle our money! So here are # Family Friendly Ways to be Frugal! If you can’t do them all right away, don’t worry. Maybe just work on adding one to start. Whether you are in debt and trying to pinch pennies to get out, or trying to reallocate some funds into your current investments, these are all ways to rename some of those dollars. This was definitely a process for Lil’ Dino Daddy and me. I will share the crazy things we do even though some of you may think they are just TOO crazy. Some may not work for everyone, but maybe they all will work for someone.

3 Family Friendly Ways to be Frugal

  1. Limit Eating Out. Cook More. This one is so tough for me, which is why it is first on the list. Feeding our family is mainly my responsibility. I want to do a good job for both the health of my family and the health of our bank account. Being a “Drive-Thru Sue” is so very easy for me to fall into. I do enjoy cooking, but let’s face it, it takes time, not to mention the clean up can seem like more work than it’s worth to prepare the meal. Now that I have a one year old toddler in tow, it is all the more difficult to find time to do what it takes to cook. However, this is the most frugal thing I can do. Since eating is something I can easily let get out of control, it is the first thing I have to address. So, for me, taking care of this has to come before a clean house, to include laundry. Here’s how I accomplish this…most weeks.
    • Meal Planning. Every week I sit down and write up a meal plan. This is a habit I learned from my mother-in-law after I was married and it has really helped us save money on food. How? Well, before I meal plan, I take a peek at what’s in my fridge, freezer, and pantry, and try to build meals around things I already have. Then I sit down and peruse my cookbooks if I’m feeling adventurous, or jot down a few meals that are staples in our home. As I make my meals, I make my…
    • Grocery List. This seems simple enough, but a well planned grocery list keeps me from buying things that aren’t ON the list. When I go to the store without a list, I end up buying more than I need, and usually waste more…because the two of us (plus little dino) simply can’t get through it all. If this is a pain point for you, I have a few friends that swear by the curbside pick up or grocery delivery options at our local grocery stores. Some stores do charge for this service, but if you find yourself spending less using this option than if you would have gone in, it’s definitely worth a try.
    • Prepare Meals Ahead. When I am cooking certain meals, I will sometimes double the recipe and save half in the freezer. Some good candidates for freezer meals are soups, chili, and casseroles, such as shepherd’s pie. I also tend to make more spaghetti sauce in relation to pasta or spaghetti squash, so I freeze half of this as well. (Bonus tip: For those who aren’t good at eating through all the produce in the fridge before it wilts or spoils, wash it and chop it when you buy it, and throw it in the freezer for another day! I do this with carrots, spinach, celery, peppers, and berries. I also buy bulk onions and garlic and just throw the whole bag in the freezer for when I need it.)
    • Eat Leftovers. I’m always shocked when I hear people say they don’t eat leftovers. I truly can’t imagine just throwing food away. Ok, so maybe some people are good at preparing just enough for that one meal. To that I say: I truly can’t imagine having to cook every night. Hahaha! But if you can, power to you. That’s awesome! If that is you, you are clearly way more organized than me and probably LOVE cooking way more than me as well.
    • Make Eating Out Special. If you are like me, eating out or ordering in, even at fast food places, can feel like a vacation from the kitchen. I enjoy not having to cook that night. I enjoy letting someone else feed me for a change, for goodness sake! My husband and I try to plan once a month to go somewhere we really enjoy and make a date out of it. (I must note that this last one is not recommended for those who are in debt. When my husband and I had debt, we did not eat out. Ever. We basically lived on rice, beans, and eggs, and at times, the kindness of others who might have us over for dinner.)
  2. Old School House Rules. Take a look at that budget. Work on taking steps to lower your household expenses. What can you do to lower your electricity bill? Your water bill?
    • Turn off the lights and switch to LED. I used to get in such trouble as a child for keeping the lights on in a room I was no longer occupying. I still shudder in fear at the remembrance of the sound of my first and middle name being yelled by my mother if she found a vacant room with a light burning brightly. In fact, this habit has stuck so severely, that I have (more than once) turned the light off as I leave a room my husband is still occupying! Whoops! Sorry honey.
    • Another energy saving method we have employed is using a drying rack to dry our clothes instead of the dryer. The average person spends about $50/month by using the dryer. Drying racks or clothes lines are not only cheaper as it relates to electricity, but it also keeps your clothes from wearing out as quickly. We use drying racks because our subdivision’s HOA would not allow the use of a clothes line in the backyard. (Ridiculous! We will never buy a house under an HOA again!) However, since we moved to our apartment, the drying racks have allowed us to continue to dry clothes both inside and outside on the patio. (Thank goodness the complex doesn’t mind
    • If you own your own home and plan to live there for a while, look into things you can do to make your home more energy efficient. We had solar screens fitted to our windows and there was a significant difference in the amount of heat coming into our home during the summer. Living in South Texas, the heat can be brutal! We also had our insulation double checked and a radiant barrier installed. Once we have found our forever home, we will look into Solar panels.
    • Saving on the water bill doesn’t take too much imagination, but doesn’t take some discipline if you really want to make a dent. Turn the water off when you’re brushing your teeth, pay attention to how long your shower is running. If you are watering your grass or garden, make it count by watering early in the morning or late in the evening. Think dawn and/or dusk.
  3. Replace Consumable Products with Reusable Products. This one was tough for our family in the beginning, but now it’s not a big deal at all. The most difficult thing to let go of was paper towels. We used them for everything from cleaning to napkins. So here’s what I did: I started cleaning the table and counters with my dish towels. I also bought a set of 12 cloth napkins – the kind you see at a nice-ish restaurant, and we use these at meal times rather than tearing off pre-perforated paper towels and passing them around the table like we used to do. I have also recently discovered a self-cleaning microfiber cloth which I really like. This has eliminated my need for chemical cleaners, so although the transition is slow-going, my home is on its way to chemical-free cleaning with these cloths and essential oil blends like Thieves.

This idea can be applied to other things as well. Consider the consumable products you use. What reusable products might you be able to replace them with? Here are a few more ideas: cloth diapers instead of disposable (do I dare mention the wipes?), maybe use reusable containers rather than plastic baggies when packing your lunch, and go ahead and use your flatware instead of buying paper plates. What’s a little more laundry and a few more dishes? – we all have to do them anyway!

There are so many ways to tweak lifestyle and habits alike in order to save money. For more ideas, visit this website. Now here’s a family dedicated to frugality. I love Mrs. Frugalwoods’ idea to put a slip of paper in your wallet to remind you of your bigger goals and dreams. If you’re us, when you go to spend money you see it and say, “Would I rather have pizza delivered or for my family to be closer to our goal of owning a farm?”

Our family wants to learn from you too! Please share YOUR frugal ideas in the comment section below.

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Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Learning to Praise God

As I was singing to my son tonight, as I have every night since the day he was born, I found myself singing a song I hadn’t sang to him in a while. It nearly brought tears to my eyes…

Remembering

In those first weeks, my son wasn’t doing too well. I would look up words to different hymns and other soothing songs that were familiar to me, but that I hadn’t learned all the words to. With some of the songs, I would change the words, and it was one of these that found its into my head this evening.

“Down to the River to Pray” by Allison Krauss is a beautiful song.

The song repeats often so it’s fun to sing to little babies and kids, adding your own people, after “brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers”. I add “daughters” and “my son”, and then follow up with my son’s name to personalize it even more.

I also change the verse, so my version goes like this:

As I go down on my knees to pray, studying about the One True Way and Jesus Christ, the Son of God by name.

Oh, my son, let’s praise God. Let’s praise God. Let’s praise God. Oh, my son, let’s praise God, and thank Him for each day.

Those words, “…and thank Him for each day.” struck a chord with me tonight. Back in those harder days, I was truly praying the words, thanking and praising God for granting my son his life, each and every day.

In those difficult nights when I was up every two to three hours for feedings, and then pumping afterwards, I would take the opportunity to pray and read God’s Word. I also took the time to write posts on this blog and reach out to other mothers who were also struggling with their babies.

How Dare I Complain…

Now that life has gotten easier, shamefully, I’ll admit I find myself complaining way too often (even if most of the time it’s not spoken out loud). “The house is a mess.” “The baby is teething and waking more often, so I’m exhausted.” “I don’t ever get time to myself.” “I’ll never lose weight, because I can’t find time to cook healthy meals.” “I’m too tired to work from home today.” Blah blah blah blah blah.

While these things may be true, my heart isn’t in the right place. I should be praising God every day, just as I was nearly a year ago. Things were definitely harder then, yet I was so grateful just that God had blessed me with the child in my arms, and that He was still thriving.

I am grateful that God has granted us all the breath that makes us alive today. I need to continue to keep being positive. Thinking on the things of God, and not on my own selfish desires, wants, and even my needs. God is our provider and we are to depend on Him and to praise Him in all things and in all situations. He deserves our praise.

Guiding and Teaching My Child

I want to teach my son, and encourage my husband, as well as others around me, to cherish every moment God has granted to us.

“Oh, my son, let’s praise God. Let’s praise God. Let’s praise God. Oh, my son, let’s praise God, and thank Him for each day.”

Praise Ye the LORD!

So I will keep singing. Here are a few songs I sing, usually in the mornings, to help me be in the correct frame of mind, and just generally more cheerful. Praising our wonderful Creator will always bring joy to my heart and I pray it will for you as well.

“This is the day, this is the day, that the LORD has made, that the LORD has made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice, and be glad in it, and be glad in it. This is the day that the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. This is the day, this is day, that the LORD has made.” Psalm 118:24 (To hear the song, click here.)

“Rejoice in the Lord, always. And again I say, rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord, always. And again I say, rejoice. Rejoice! Rejoice! And again I say, rejoice. Rejoice! Rejoice! And again I say, rejoice.” Philippians 4:4 (To hear the song, click here.)

“I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart. I will enter His courts with praise. I will say this is the day that the LORD has made. I will rejoice for He has made me glad. He has made me glad. He has made me glad. I will rejoice for He has made me glad. He has made me glad. He has made me glad. I will rejoice for He has made me glad.” Psalm 100:4 (To hear the song, click here.)

Hiding God’s Word in My Heart

Interestingly enough, these songs are also Psalms, so learning them is also hiding God’s Word in our hearts.

Psalm 119:11 “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

 

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Co-Sleeping 

There’s a lot to be said about co-sleeping. However, this post isn’t to hash out the safety precautions or to rave about the family bed. I simply want to write to share that co-sleeping is how I was able to sleep 7 hours last night. 

Seasoned co-sleepers will be nodding their approval I’m sure while others may cringe upon reading the words “family bed”, but my hope is that some where out there another tired Mama might be able to use one more suggestion to help her get a little more rest.

Milestones and Growth

My son is going through many milestone changes all at once.  It’s taking what seems like forever to cut his first tooth. Due to the drool and chomping, we’ve been expecting it for over a month now.  He’s recently hit 6 months and this past week, his constant eating and excessive night waking surely indicates the 6 month growth spurt. 

And now, my 6 month old is mobile! What?! Oh yes! He’s not full on crawling (yet!), but he is army crawling everywhere! It’s incredible. So we quickly did the baby-proofing shuffle. (I attribute this early progress to all the floor and tummy time with Daddy.)

If you’ve searched the web for anything like “why isn’t my baby sleeping? ” and insert the age of the baby, many times you’ll be reminded that during milestones, they just don’t sleep all that well.  Needless to say, my baby is feeling a little more clingy than usual.

So while I want to curse the lack of sleep, my “joy comes in the morning” as I realize all the amazing things my son is learning and has achieved. (Praise God for the fleas.)

Our 7 Hour Night

Usually I put my son to bed in his crib around 6:30pm. Then my husband and I are able to spend some time together and relax for the evening. My son wakes up to eat between 10:30 to midnight, then wakes up again a couple times in the early morning light sleep but can usually quickly be put back to bed.

Well, last night was a horse of a different color! He woke up at 9 pm and ate like he was starving! Then we went through the routine of burping and laying him back in his crib. No way, he wasn’t having it. Upon his head (or foot or hand) hitting the sheets, he immediately woke up and fussed. I don’t know how many times over the next hour I tried to lay him in his crib. It was a lot. He was perfectly content and asleep there on my shoulder.

So finally, I gave in to my own need for rest and went into his room to lay down on the mattress (on the floor) we use for his nap times. He stayed asleep. Until 5 am. What?! Oh yes! I didn’t know he could do that either!

Well, I may not have seen my own bed last night and I did miss my husband but getting to sleep without interruption for the first time in 6 months was incredible!

Decisions

I’m not really sure what’s around the bend. My husband and I discussed it this morning and we think we’re all finally ready to move our son’s crib into HIS room instead of in ours. We considered it at 4 months when he was growing out of the bassinet, but I told my husband I wasn’t ready, so we moved his crib into our room.

We also laughed as we realized, this probably means we’ll all be camped out in his room while he makes this transition. My son, me, my husband, who doesn’t want to sleep alone either, and our two dogs are moving into the nursery tonight! 

Go ahead and smile and laugh as you picture it. You know it’s funny. 

Right or Wrong

As I continue to post about our sleep/no-sleep adventure with our firstborn, (I say “our” because my husband is definitely in this “together” with me.) it dawned on me all the opinions that MUST be floating around out there.

Every parent does things differently (and from what I hear, differently from child to child as well), but it seems many people want to “put their oar” in without actually listening to the desires of the parent they’re trying to mentor.

There’s so much differing information about child rearing and it can be difficult to sift through it all, and very easy to feel like a failure once you chosen a path and then hear something different or read an article with a differing perspective. It can be downright stressful!

The fact is, God didn’t make us all from the same mold. Throughout creation you can see God’s appreciation for the unique. The individual characteristics and strengths He created in all of us is evident in our very children as we watch them grow. We appreciate these attributes in others, except perhaps it may seem, when it comes to parenting? 

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to tell my story. And I love to give advice to others. In fact, I’m known to apologize in advance and give permission for the other person to tell me “thanks, but, no thanks” when I want to give advice! 

What I want to encourage here is that the advice we are giving is given out of love. And may I also suggest that the advice given is for the benefit of the other person and not for our own parenting knowledge gold star or feather in our cap. 

This isn’t a plug for everyone’s “truth” is right for them. God’s truth is the only truth and He has made that very clear when it comes to right and wrong. God didn’t make us all the same, though he did gave us commandments about certain things. 

I think we can all agree that those commandments don’t cover what color I should wear today anymore than whether I should breastfeed one year or two (or, dare I say it, more. Gasp!). I mean look at how different we all are from one another! Naturally we’re going to have different parenting styles as well. 

Wisdom in a Multitude of Counselors

Don’t go it alone. There is something to be said for asking for godly advice in all aspects of our life. Proverbs says, there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. So choose a few people you trust and ask for their perspective. They may come up with some good ideas you haven’t thought of yet! 

And for those unsolicited advisors, don’t tune them out completely. You may be able to glean some gold nuggets from their experiences. Be encouraged, that their intentions are most likely good, they just aren’t very graceful about how to tell their story or offer advice that doesn’t sound judgmental. Chances are they don’t know how it makes you feel.

So wherever you are in your journey, whatever your challenge, take heart that although we are all different people, you can surround yourself with loving and encouraging people to help you through it. Even if no one else knows what to suggest in your situation, you can always ask them to pray for you. 

“Bear one another’s burdens…”
Galatians 6:2a

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Proverbs 11:14

“…Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5b

Let us hear from you!

What advice might you have for my situation?
What, if any, sleep challenges have you had with your children?

 

 

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Deciding on the Birth Center as a Venue

Whenever I thought about childbirth, I never really wanted to have a baby in the hospital. To me, a hospital was a place people go when they are sick, bleeding, or dying. I didn’t think of it as a great place to bring a baby into the world. Obviously, many babies are born in a hospital and arrive home healthy and happy. It just wasn’t something I was particularly interested in.

For some people, a hospital birth is the only way that comes to mind, so upon mentioning giving birth at a birth center or at home, with midwives, rather than doctors, one witnesses an interesting variety of responses. Some of them are comical, and most all of them are sincere and out of a place of concern.

The only reason I realized there was a way besides a hospital was because my own Mother had my younger brother at home. To this day, he can point to a spot in the house and say, “I was born right there.”

A few years before I became pregnant with my son, my husband and I were discussing our desire and supposed readiness to have a baby, and I mentioned in passing that I didn’t want to have a baby in a hospital. The idea was so foreign and absurd to him that he dismissed it immediately. I wasn’t really wanting to go the home-birth route, simply because I didn’t know what to expect when it came to childbirth. Considering it wasn’t a bridge we needed to cross right then, I dropped it, but I did some research in our area to find out if there was a place specifically designed for the sole purpose of bringing babies into this world. And there was. So I kept that in the back of my mind and continued on with life.

When I became pregnant, I went to my regular OB/GYN and in those early weeks fully intended on going through with a hospital birth. Over the course of a few weeks, it became clear to both myself and my husband that this place and this doctor were not truly what we wanted, so we began to search for an alternative.

I recalled my Mother’s home-birth experience in my childhood home and that she had a midwife, so I began my search for a midwife. I made appointments with several. Many attended home births, some attended hospital births, and some attended birth center births. After meeting and speaking with several very knowledgeable women, my husband and I felt most comfortable with a particular group of midwives at a birth center in our area.

I remember being awestruck as I left the birth center as I mulled over all the wonderful information that was provided to my husband and me in that single initial visit. We knew more about what to expect in that one interview than we had learned in two months worth of appointments with my doctor.

Let me pause here to say that I didn’t have a horrible or ignorant doctor. She always asked me if I had any questions but I never did. It was a situation in which I didn’t know enough to ask questions. When I was speaking to the midwives, they were constantly providing information, which sparked questions. I think of midwifery as a specialization in the world of pregnancy and childbirth. That’s what midwives do. Their certification and skill set is very specific to those months of pregnancy and the six weeks postpartum care for both mother and baby. It was also clear that this was their passion and that was such a comforting relief for both my husband and me.

Deciding Pain Medication-Free was the Way for Me (and my Baby)

Upon choosing the birth center, I was making the choice to have a medication-free birth. Specifically a pain medication-free birth. I was all right with this as I had already been trying to decide whether or not I should have an epidural in the hospital.

If you are trying to make this decision and asking other mothers, you will get an assortment of responses. Some people upon hearing that you are choosing not to have an epidural will immediately tell you what a terrible idea that is. While I disagree, I encourage you to do research about the effects of an epidural on both the mother and baby.

It was because of my own researching on the subject that I was already leaning towards not having an epidural, so when the option was taken away because the birth center did not offer epidurals, it solidified what I had learned and wanted.

A few reasons I didn’t want to have an epidural or Pitocin during my labor:

  • I didn’t want my baby to be affected by any medications.
  • I wanted the best start possible for him in regards to breastfeeding. Epidurals do pass through the placenta and affect the baby. Studies show that babies affected by epidurals are more sluggish in getting to the breast compared with babies not affected by epidurals.
  • I didn’t want my contractions to be artificially augmented – I wanted to work with my body they way it was designed.
  • I wanted to be able to get up and move during my labor.
  • And I wanted to be able to effectively push when the time came to push.

Childbirth Classes

One of the (many) wonderful recommendations the birth center provided was to take a childbirth class called, “The Bradley Method”. This method emphasized husband-coached childbirth which was a foreign concept to me in what I believed to a “women’s world” but at the same time, I was thrilled with the idea of my husband being my main support throughout my labor – he was after all, my main support throughout every other aspect of my life. Why not childbirth?

I highly recommend this particular series of birthing classes as they are highly informative and you will go into childbirth (even a first childbirth) feeling knowledgeable and confident. Pregnancy and labor is scary enough without the added challenge of being uninformed. Perhaps think of it this way: Would you go take a college final exam without studying? Maybe, but you would have done better if you had studied, right?

To quote from The Bradley Method website, “Natural childbirth is an important goal since most people want to give their babies every possible advantage. Without the side effects of drugs given during labor and birth. The Bradley MethodÂŽ classes teach families how to have natural births. The techniques are simple and effective. They are based on information about how the human body works during labor. Couples are taught how they can work with their bodies to reduce pain and make their labors more efficient. Of over 1,000,000 couples trained in The Bradley MethodÂŽ nationwide, over 86% of them have had spontaneous, unmedicated vaginal births. This is a method that works! ”

The other thing I absolutely loved and appreciated about these classes is that my husband liked them. He is a person who craves information and is very research-oriented and results-driven, which made this method perfect for him. I was excited that he was to have an active role, rather than only be a spectator on the sidelines. He was prepared for his role, just as I was prepared for mine, and I had the utmost confidence in his ability to encourage, support, and coach me through the birth of our son.

Is Natural Childbirth Painful?

The point of this post is to tell the story of my childbirth experience and I will. However, before I continue, I want to ask and answer a very fundamental question: Is Natural Childbirth Painful? The short answer is, yes. But it is so much more than that.

The experience of childbirth is like nothing I have ever experienced before. For those who have never experienced it, there’s much that simply can’t be explained properly or related to until they experience it for themselves.

All women expect to experience pain during childbirth, and I do have that to share in my story. However, probably few women remember to also expect excitement, laughter, smiles, precious bonding moments with your spouse, and yes, moments without pain. An article I really appreciated reading talked about having a positive attitude regarding childbirth and expecting a positive outcome. It reminds women to not focus so much on the painful aspects of childbirth, and recall the moments when the labor was actually pain free.

The article I shared also mentions a “straightforward labour with a well positioned baby…you don’t feel pain at all”. I did not have a straight forward labor or a well-positioned baby, but I can still speak to the positive experience of the natural childbirth that was mine, and if given the choice to do it over again, I would still have a pain med-free and natural childbirth.

My Story

This is the story of the birth of my son. It is very detailed. It is very personal. It is very special. This is my first childbirth experience.

Early Stage – Labor Begins

Labor for me began with my water breaking at 7:11 pm on October 31st, 2016. I was shocked because I had learned that only 15% of labors begin with the water breaking.

Interestingly enough, it wasn’t a gush, but a trickle. I remember my husband and I had just finished dinner, and I stood up from my seat and immediately peed…or at least I thought I had. (At 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, wetting myself was not necessarily something new.) I rushed to the bathroom and realized I had bloody show.  I also couldn’t stop the trickling that had begun minutes earlier. I hurriedly and excitedly sent a text to my midwife, saying, “I think my water just broke?” She asked me a series of questions and upon reviewing my responses, told me to wear a pad for 20 minutes and let her know if it was soaked in that time. It was. She then instructed me to come in to the birth center where she examined me and quickly ascertained my water had indeed broken.

I was ecstatic! My baby was going to be here sometime tomorrow! My baby was NOT going to be born on Halloween. (Something I really did not want and had literally prayed against.) The time was here! Oh my goodness! I’m going to have my baby!

It may not be common knowledge for those not in the medical field, but when the waters break, infections are more probable as a layer of protection has been broken. Due to the fact I was planning to deliver at a birth center and with midwives, my water breaking started a 24-hour clock in which I needed to have my baby, if I was to stay at the birth center. Beyond this time frame, it would be required that I be transferred to the hospital. Although my water had broken, I wasn’t yet experiencing contractions so we needed to get busy.

I was sent home and told to rest for the next 6 hours. At this time, it was about 8:30 pm. After resting, I was to begin using the breast pump as a form of stimulation which was to help induce contractions.

When we got in the car, I told my husband to drive to his mother’s home. She lived a short 10 minutes away from the birth center and I wanted to see the look on her face when we told her she was going to be a Grandma tomorrow! He agreed, and on the way I called my own Mother to let her know as well, and then my sister. When we were in my mother in law’s neighborhood I called her. It was well after 9:00 pm and odd that we would call her so late. She answered the phone expectantly, and I said, “Hey, can you open the door for us?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed. She hurried to throw open the door with wide eyes and a smile.

“Seems like we’re going to have a baby tomorrow,” I said. Then proceeded to tell her the events of the evening thus far.

When I got home, I tried my best to sleep, but naturally I was excited.  As I lay there in my bed, resting, but awake, I couldn’t help but think how in a few hours I was going to meet my son.

Just after midnight on November 1st, 2016, I felt a contraction. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that it was painful or particularly powerful, but it was slightly uncomfortable. I got up and went to take a shower. Then dressed in the last outfit I would have a “baby bump” in, remembering to take a picture to complete my series of pictures commemorating this pregnancy.

I then went into the living room to use the pump. It didn’t work. Dang it! I woke my husband up and he couldn’t get it to work either. Wouldn’t you know, we got it working after we brought the baby home – it turns out it was something quite simple, but as for use during labor, it was a lost cause. So, I set about following instructions by manually stimulating to induce contractions at certain intervals and rested on the couch in between.

About 6:30 am, my contractions were becoming much more consistent. I would describe contractions almost like menstrual cramps as far as where you feel them and perhaps somewhat in how they feel as well. They were certainly not unbearable and I used the relaxation techniques and laboring positions I had learned and practiced to work through them. At this stage, I could talk easily, and I walked, and got myself food and water. During this time, I ate small meals and drank water constantly.

It was around this time my husband got up for the day. We both knew I would need him to be rested, so while I was on the couch, he was doing his best to sleep in our bed. That was the best thing he could have done for both our sakes.

To track contractions, I had an app on my phone that my husband and I used. It had been recommended that we not watch the clock. I definitely want to pass on this recommendation as it allowed me to focus inward on what my body was doing, but not how long it was taking to do it. The app kept us in the know without watching time pass. An added benefit was that I could simply “share” my progress with my midwife by pressing a few buttons, rather than typing it all out. As the contractions became more consistent and closer together this feature was all the more appreciated.

In this early stage of labor, I was primarily on my sofa, sitting or lying down due to the time of day. My goal at this time was to rest as much as possible. Between contractions, it was business as usual. There wasn’t any pain or discomfort to speak of, except perhaps, the annoyance of constantly needing to pee, but that wasn’t anything the last 9 months of pregnancy hadn’t prepared me for.

Active Labor

When the contractions started to become more intense, I found myself kneeling on the floor leaning over the couch and eventually the exercise ball. The rocking helped relieve discomfort and I was use to this hands and knees position because I had practiced it often during the latter part of my pregnancy, so it was easy for me to relax this way.

Right before we left to go to the birth center, I preferred sitting in the swivel chair from the office. I was able to brace against the arms on the chair and it was cushioned but supportive, and I didn’t have to focus on balancing myself as I did on the ball.

During this time, I quickly realized that I absolutely hated when I had to use the restroom. As I was supposed to, I was drinking lots of fluids and urinating very frequently. I noticed that my contractions were much stronger when I was sitting on the toilet. Sitting there was so intense for me, that I thought I was skipping contractions, but that wasn’t the case. In fact, it was the contractions themselves that were more intense while I was sitting there.

My husband did an excellent job keeping me fed and hydrated, and encouraging me to relax. About 9:30 am, I threw up. I had been eating small meals to keep up my strength. Though I didn’t really have an appetite, I knew I needed to stay fueled for the rest of this adventure. I’m sure it was a combination of hormones and reaction to the discomfort from the contractions. By this time, my husband had taken over communicating with my midwife as I needed to focus and the contractions were close enough together that I didn’t want to bother looking at the phone. When he told her I had thrown up, she replied, “Excellent!” Though I didn’t think it was so excellent at the time, it wasn’t much longer before we prepped to go to the birth center.

Within the hour, and with my midwife’s blessing, my husband and I left for the birth center. We were there by 11:30 am. I was so eager to get to the birth center. I had kept myself in check up to this point, knowing that if I went too early, they would send me home. I really didn’t want to get into the car again and ride the 45 minutes back home and then make the trip AGAIN!

At this time, my contractions were about three and a half minutes apart and were lasting for nearly three minutes so needless to say, I wasn’t getting much of a break upon arriving at the birth center. When I got out of the car and headed inside, I was in my socks, my shoes left behind in the floorboard of the car. Let’s do this thing!

The thing I love about the birth center is there’s no waiting period. There’s no “check in” process. There’s no, “Here, fill out this paperwork.” All that was taken care of months previous upon agreeing to use the birth center and there wasn’t a single member on staff who didn’t know my name, my husband, and the name we chose for our baby. Since I had already been in communication with my primary midwife (via text – how awesome is that!), the room was all ready for me.

Upon entering the room, I made a B-line for the bed and laid down. I was so tired from the car ride and so relieved to finally be in the final stages and have the midwives for support. My midwife came in and did an exam. I was fully effaced and 7 cm dilated. I had done it! I had labored at home as I should have and was well on my way to having this baby! In fact, much of my active labor was already complete.

I was given an IV for hydration and to help protect against infection since my water had broken over 12 hours previous.

I remember being extremely happy during this time. It was sort of like we had just entered a hotel room on vacation. We set our stuff down and my husband and I got into the bed together. I smiled and laughed as we carried on conversation. We were so excited and practically giddy. My mother in law arrived and joined us in the room. Then my sister did the same. My Mother called to FaceTime while she was at work. She so longed to be there, and this was as close as she could get until she came for her visit the following day.

Because I had labored so much at home (which was a good thing), it wasn’t long before the real work began. The smiles faded and the phones were put away, as I needed to focus, but the joy I felt in my heart increased all the more.

Posterior Baby – Not the Ideal Position

It is important to explain that several weeks before, my baby had turned to the posterior position, rather than the ideal anterior position. I had been doing acrobatics to get him to turn, but he just wouldn’t. I had done proper tailor-sitting, I had done pelvic rocking, hands and knees time on the ball, I had done everything “Bradley” AND “spinning babies”, including chest and knees (which is difficult – it’s correct to say my head was in the way!), and he simply didn’t turn. At this point in my labor, this was still the case. This is what made my labor more difficult than a “straightforward” labor and contributed to the lengthening of what “should have”, or should I say, usually would have taken just a few more hours. And we still had to consider that 24-hour clock my body was racing against in which I may have been forced into going to the hospital.

Losing Time “in the zone”

Despite the fact that I was experiencing a long labor, I truly didn’t realize it. I have to admit, I lost time up until my baby was born. I even lost some sequence of events that my husband and I still talk about to this day, trying to fill in the gaps. I didn’t black out or anything. I was just “in the zone”. I was focused on the task before me and oblivious to the time.

I know that after the exam, my contractions got all the more powerful. One of the midwives came in to check on me and saw me lying down and in pain. She said, “How long have you been there? Time to get up!” This helped. I think I had taken the advice “let your labor happen to you” a little too literally, and had forgotten all the wonderful information I had learned to help me get through my labor more efficiently and comfortably. I paced and went to the restroom to pee often – hating the toilet still. I remember distinctly telling my midwife, “I hate sitting on the toilet. It hurts so bad!” She reminded me that the contractions were more powerful because those muscles were used to relaxing on the toilet. I heard her, but I left the toilet as quickly as I was finished.

My labor continued. I took a bath, which was short-lived as it was clear I needed to stand to better deal with my contractions. Some positions you are just drawn to. It’s different for every woman and every pregnancy. That’s why it’s so important to know your options and practice them. I leaned heavily upon my husband during these contractions. I rocked on my hands and knees too,when the contraction intensity brought me, quite literally, to my knees. My dear mother in law and my sister were both there to support me. My own Mother was stuck in her home State until the following day.

My Frenemy: The Toilet

I wasn’t progressing as quickly as expected, so my dear midwife looked at me with pity in her eyes and said, “Darling, you’re going to hate me. But I need you to go labor on the toilet. NOOOOOOO!!!!! I thought, but instead of screaming what I was thinking, I said, with tears in my eyes. “Ok.” and added, “I don’t hate you.”

Laboring on the toilet for me was an extremely intense experience. I had already spent some time there just answering nature’s call, but to sit there deliberately was difficult for me. I didn’t know how to relax through these kinds of contractions. When my husband shut the door behind him, I broke down in tears. This was, and has been for years, my coping mechanism and method of stress release. I didn’t want the others to know how difficult this was at this time. So many people thought I was crazy for not being in a hospital right now and taking the epidural. Ok, not crazy, but they certainly believed this was unnecessary. I don’t know how long I labored there but I do remember my sweet mother in law spoon feeding me a Greek yogurt as I sat there.

Time to Push – Actually, No. Don’t Push.

Eventually, I went back to the bed, where I was checked again and told I was ready to push. I was so glad to hear this. Up to this point, I was feeling like this baby was never going to come out and I would just be left in perpetual toilet laboring forever. With the next contraction, I pushed.

Then I was told. “We need you to stop pushing.” What?! No! Why?  I was tired, I was probably a little delirious, I couldn’t truly communicate verbally anymore, but through the haze I worked to understand what the midwives were telling me, and cooperate. “You aren’t ready yet.” But you just said… “When you push, you go from 9 cm dilated to 5 cm.” Oh, that’s not good. “Because the baby is still posterior, there’s a lip in your cervix. This is going to take longer than we thought. Do you want to transfer?”

I have to mention here that a lot of time had passed. Hours. The midwives were not so quickly suggesting that I could consider transferring, but to me, it felt like it, because I didn’t think much time had passed at all since I had arrived at the birth center.

Not fully understanding the why behind the question of transferring, I thought, Oh no something is terribly wrong! I looked at my husband for an answer, who said nothing. Oh, I have to decide this myself. The first thing I decided was that there were too many people in the room, so I asked my husband, “Honey, can it just be you in here with me?” He gently but immediately asked my mother in law and sister to please wait outside. Ok, now I can deal with this without people worrying about me. Somehow I knew this was about to get a whole lot harder before it was over.

I don’t know how but I found my voice again, “Is the baby ok?”

“Yes, the baby is doing great! He’s very strong.” Relief! Oh, that’s so good! It must be me.

“Am I ok?”

“Yes, you’re doing fine. We’re just concerned about your level of exhaustion.” Oh, is that it?  I mean, I am tired, but I’m not finished having this baby yet, so I still have work to do. Besides that, I can’t even imagine having to deal with these contractions in a vehicle!

“If the baby is ok, and I’m ok, I’d like to stay.” So two of the midwives went out to deliberate on the best course of action, and a third stayed with me.

Pain, yes. Unmanageable, no.

I want to pause here to say that despite all the intensity I have mentioned in this recounting of my labor, at the time, it was just something that had to happen. I didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. I didn’t curse. I didn’t scream at the people around me. My body simply took over and I used the relaxing techniques as best I could to work through it. So was labor painful? For me, yes. But it wasn’t unbearable. And the pain I felt was highly attributed to the position my baby was in.

Giving birth was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but there wasn’t ever a moment in which I thought, I’d rather be at a hospital or I really wish I had the option of pain killers. God designed the woman’s body exactly for this purpose and I reached out to him many times in prayer. There’s a perfect release of endorphins in the ebb and flow of the contractions. The decision my husband and I had made to have a natural and pain medication-free birthing experience was primarily for the sake of the child within me and my resolve was strong to make it through as planned, as long as it was my decision to make.

Turning the Baby

When they came back, they talked to me, and said that one of them was going to try to get the baby to turn. This is really going to hurt, isn’t it?

“Ok,” I said.

And it did, but again, it wasn’t intolerable. I did start to get more vocal during this chapter of my labor. My midwife reminded me to make low moaning noises and not anything too high. In my delirium, I struggled to do what she was asking. She moaned with me. At times my voice would climb its way back up the scale, and she would mimic again what I was to do. Then she said, “There’s a huge difference in your dilation when your voice goes high, you close up, when you moan low, you open up.” Oh, ok. Reasons why go a long way with me. Not that I was trying to be difficult, but understanding “the why” helped me to focus better on the task at hand. That’s one of the reasons The Bradley Method class was so great for my husband and me. It provided a lot of reasons why. So now I was able to visualize opening up when I made the low moaning sound.

Well, the midwife wasn’t able to get my son to turn, but she did manage to push him back a little bit so that he wouldn’t be in the bones where he couldn’t turn as well. Then it was chest and knees time. Today thinking about me lying there with my butt up in the air and my face smashed into a pillow, dealing with contractions, and trying not to let my knees slide back out from under me so that I was as much at an angle as possible, kind of makes me laugh. I’m sure I was a sight, but I certainly didn’t care at the time.

Transition

After some time on my chest and knees, it was back to the…you guessed it! Yes! It was back to my frenemy, the toilet! Except this time, it was with a twist…I was to sit on it reverse. I actually liked this better. Not because it was less intense, but because there were handrails I could grip and they also set a pillow on the back of the toilet, so I could rest my head. Relaxing is crucial during labor. Can you believe I actually managed to sleep those 15-30 seconds when I wasn’t contracting? Even in this most difficult stage of transition, there was relief. Both when I was on my chest and knees, and when I was sitting reverse on the toilet, I was catching Z’s. When I felt a contraction coming on, I would start to moan low to let everyone else know what was going on. I had it figured out at this point. The low moan helped me relax and deal with the contractions better.

Fighting the Urge to Push

Remember how during this time, I was told not to push? Well, both while I was on my chest and knees, and especially when I was on the toilet, I simply couldn’t fight my body. I remember thinking my eyes must have looked like a deer in the headlights as I let the midwife know, “I can’t help it!” This was the only time I was scared that I was doing something that was going to hurt my baby. I so desired to be compliant, but my body wasn’t on board with my plan. The midwife said, “It’s ok. Don’t fight your body…but don’t do anything extra either. Her reassurance was invaluable.

Not pushing when your body wants you to, is like nothing I could ever truly describe in words.  You can’t control it. It’s happening to you. To fight against it caused more agony than anything else I’ve ever experienced. I was relieved to hear that I didn’t have to try to hold back the involuntary pushing that was happening naturally, and this helped me continue to focus on relaxing best I could through the contractions.

Crowning – A Welcome Change

I don’t know how long I labored backwards on the toilet, but I remember the moment when I felt that new and welcome sensation. Burning! I thought. I remember what this is! I’m crowning. Instead of announcing that I thought the baby was crowning, I said, “I feel burning.” And with that my midwife left the room. I remember my husband and me looking at each other, as we were by ourselves for the first time in hours. We were both a little scared, and very tired, and since things were no longer going as expected and we didn’t know what came next, we were unsettled even though we weren’t alone more than a minute or two. He was with me though and he prayed with me. I had prayed in my mind throughout my labor but to have my husband pray over me was especially comforting.

You may be wondering, where did the midwife go? Don’t worry, she didn’t abandon us. When you have a baby, there has to be a care provider for both you and your baby, so my midwife had gone to get one of the others because we were getting close.

When they came back, I waddled over to the bed. A true waddle as I could feel my baby between my legs. Needless to say a very quick glance confirmed that I was, in fact, ready to push, as the baby was crowning. Finally! I was allowed to work with my body! With the next contraction I worked to figure out how to push effectively.

Learning How to Push

I had no idea how to push.  I remember being told not to push all the air out of my mouth, but to use that energy to push. Huh? It was difficult in my tired state to understand how to push and where, but eventually it all came together. My midwife put her hand down and said, “Push against my hand.” That helped. It took me a few contractions to understand and comply with what she was saying but then it became easier and more fruitful as my baby inched his way out. I was told later that from the time I was allowed to “voluntarily” push, to the moment my beautiful baby boy was in my arms was only 16 minutes.

Comic Relief

A few days after the birth of my son, my mother in law and sister recounted their own adventure after we “kicked them out” of the labor room. After they had been asked to leave the room, they waited in the hallway, hoping to come back in. When one of the midwives found them there, she kindly directed them to the waiting room just down the hall. Disappointed, they complied.

My sister was on the phone with my Mother, telling her as much as she knew whenever one of the midwives would come out to give them an update. She had mentioned to them that I may need to transfer.

Once I became vocal as I mentioned before, they stealthily made their way back down the hall to listen again. In an aside my sister informed my mother in law, “That’s all the birth control I need!” Then they heard someone coming to the door and they sprinted down the hall back to the waiting room, avoiding what they were sure was a close call, not wanting to get caught sneaking a listen at the door.

They also reported how one of the midwives came and excitedly exclaimed to them as I worked my way through transition, “We’ve got a baby coming out of a hoo-ha y’all!” That got a good laugh and a “Hooray!”. My Mother, who was on the phone with my sister, was desperately trying to convince her to break into the room and RECORD the birth!

My husband and I were completely oblivious to the craziness outside the walls of our comfy little laboring room, but boy did it set us to laughing in the days to come.

The Most Precious Moments

During these 16 minutes, two very precious events happened. I was getting very tired. I had been laboring near 24 hours and had slept very little. At one point I felt I wasn’t going to have the strength to push out this baby. I remember the third midwife coming in (they loved me and all wanted to be there to support me) and telling me I was doing great and that “This is a big baby, darlin’!” They told me they could see his head and she took my hand and said, “Feel that? That’s your baby.” I distinctly remember the sound of awe that came out of me and the sweet emotion that helped to erupt a new surge of energy. I want to meet my son! His heart rate was strong throughout the entire process and there was never a moment when the midwives were worried about him.

The Final Push – Hello Baby

The second precious event coincided with that final push. All of a sudden, the midwives said, “Now pull him onto your chest. Pull out your baby.” What? I was confused. I never dreamed I’d get to help in this way. So at 6:52 pm I reached down and helped pull my baby out of my body and onto my chest where he took his first breaths and started to make that sweet “welcome to the world” baby cry.

Meeting My Son – Worth it All

The midwives told me later that my son had turned in those last moments before crowning, which was truly amazing. However, my son was not large, as had been expected. He was a moderate 7 pounds, 1 ounce, and 20 inches long. He had added his left hand to the mix so he was a compound presentation. This shouldn’t have surprised me considering in every sonogram picture, his hands were either up by his head or in his mouth.

Our Little Family

My labor was not an easy one, as it was atypical, and I was told many other mamas would have opted to go to the hospital in my situation. I honestly couldn’t even imagine it. With my son on my chest, crying, I whispered softly to him in an effort to soothe him. He eventually found his hand and sucked on it for a little while, ending the crying. My husband cut the umbilical cord once it completed its pulsing, and I soon put my beautifully pink child to the breast for the first time.

The three of us were a little happy family who had come through this adventure…with many more adventures on the horizon.

 

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The New Mama Workout

If you’re like me, you’re already wearing your sweatpants around the house and have your hair pulled into a messy bun anyway. So what’s a Mama to do when she’s all dressed up for the gym with no time to go?

New and seasoned mothers alike know how difficult it is to work exercise into your day to day activity.

Having a baby significantly changes our bodies and we need time to recover. But once your healthcare provider gives you the all clear, here are 10 exercises you can do with your baby.

(By the way, Dads, you can do these too!)

Baby’s Tummy-Time = Exercises on the Floor

1. Push-ups. When my son is playing on the floor, I’m putting in floor time too with 5 sets of 10 push-ups. (Yes, I do the girly ones.) Sometimes my son even stops to watch Mommy work.

2. Sit-ups or crunches. Another good exercise to do while baby is playing on the floor. You may even want to get real creative and hold your baby in the air while doing reverse crunches. This one has been especially hard for me postpartum. I started with just 10 sit-ups, twice a day and I could barely do them. It’s ok to start low and work your way up!

3. Pelvic Rocking. This is also a great exercise for pregnant women. To help strengthen your back, get on all fours. Keeping your shoulders still and knees planted, relax lower back, which allows pelvis to tilt forward, then level your back and tuck hips under. Do slowly and rhythmically. (Exercises from The Bradley Method handbook.)

4. Stretching. You know what stretching is and what your body needs so do whatever stretching you need for that day. Legs, arms, back. Goodness knows, my whole body gets all out of whack on a daily basis!

Exercises for a fussy baby or to help put baby to sleep

5. Squats. This one is good to do when your baby simply won’t let you sit. I tend to do these as a part of our nap time routine since he likes me to stand and bounce him anyway. Try doing 2 sets of 10 for each nap time and increasing as your baby gets older. They really add up when your baby is napping 3 times a day!

6. Lunges. Another unique way to hold your fussy baby who won’t let you put him down. So get up and get moving! 2 sets of 10 for each nap, increase number of sets as baby’s nap number decreases with age.

7. Torso Twists. Swaying with a baby is a great way to encourage them to take a nap. 20+ Torso Twists are just swaying with form and a duel purpose!

8. Walk or Pace. Can you tell I have a child that doesn’t like me to sit still? Get a step counter and see how many steps you can take around the house. Going outside for some sunshine will also be good for both you and your baby.

Exercises for the Couch Potato (Or Tired Parent)

9. Chest presses. Ok, ok significantly modified chest presses, but finally one you can do on the couch! Use your baby as your weight and lift him into the air doing reps.  As a bonus, you’ll probably get some smiles or giggles from your baby too! Each baby’s weight varies so how many can you do before your arms feel like Jell-O? (Remember, these weights naturally increase over time so be consistent or one day that baby’s heaviness may surprise you!) Be careful to hold him around the chest and not by the arms or stomach. Good head control is also a must before doing this one.

10. Leg lifts. Again modified, but we sleepy parents do what we can, when we can. Lower the leg support on your couch or La-Z-boy and do some leg lifts. 5 sets of 10 should do the trick (for each leg – oh come on, no complaining. We’re not that lazy!)

Share your story:

Can you think of other exercises you can do while holding or playing with your young baby? Share them with us!

“But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
1 Corinthians 9:27

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