In our society today, it isn’t popular or even considered appropriate to be considering marriage as early as the first date.

Many of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances who are not yet married and even some who have been divorced or widowed and are considering starting again, are feeling the pressure of what it means to be in a new relationship in this social climate.

While few Christians would say they aren’t looking for their lifelong mate and companion, few are ready to admit to their first date that they have marriage on the mind.

Our society has classified marriage as a trap for women in a nation where hurtful terms like “toxic masculinity” are the norm. Marriage has been redefined to legitimize a lifestyle which the Bible makes clear is sinful. Marriage is a legal status as long as it’s convenient rather than something to be cherished. Children are termed as “oops”, “accidents”, and “life ruiners”.

The truth is marriage provides safety and freedom and a bond of companionship favored by God. It’s within the design of marriage with a father and a mother that children thrive and grow. Marriage teaches people to mature, to think of others before yourself, to be truly tolerant of another’s shortcomings, to focus on the good things in life. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment. Marriage nourishes faithfulness and trust. Marriage allows for experiencing life together in harmony where children are longed for and cherished.

So what’s the problem? Why are single people finding it difficult to speak up about wanting to find this special partner, even as early as a first date? Why is it that faith, core values and beliefs are left on the table while sex and intimacy are expected. People are made fun of for wanting to remain virgins until marriage, bringing up such “serious” topics “too early” in a relationship.

May I suggest society has it backwards?