Marriage

6 Tips for Teaching Children to Listen

Published: 8 January 2019
Written by Lil Dino Mommy
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Categories: Marriage, Pregnancy and Parenthood

How many times do we wonder, “Is this kid even listening to me?” When my first child was on the brink turning two, I was asking myself this question. It wasn’t until he was nearly three that I finally found a solution that worked!

I’ve read and searched and studied the answer to this question and it didn’t take me long to realize, that it starts with me. I have to “train my child in the way he should go”. This includes teaching him how to listen, and how to respond to my expectations of him.

It also is something I need to be modeling for him, which brings up another question…”Am I listening to my husband?” Definite food for thought there…

If you’re finding parenting a challenge, you’re not alone, but don’t let yourself fall into a “victim” mentality. Take action!

God has created a perfect model of what parenting should look like. Training is really all about teaching consequences to our children. What better way to set a young person up for the “real world” than to teach them from their little bitty youth, that every single action has a consequence?

1. Set Expectations. When it comes to teaching young children to listen (the first time!), we parents have to enforce the rules accordingly. If you have said or requested something of your child and they are not responding, enforce the consequence of breaking that rule.

2. Start Early. It is easier to train a young child before bad habits are formed, than to retrain old and bad habits. However, don’t lose heart if your child is older. You might explain to your child that things are going to be different now. You didn’t understand before, but now that you know better, you’ll do better and it’s all because you love them dearly.

3. Act Swiftly! Don’t let it fester. If you are to the point of frustration or anger, you have waited much too long to act. God rebukes and chastens us in love. We are to guide our children in the same loving way. We want to respond, not react, to our children’s behavior.

4. Be Consistent. This is the key to having peace in your home as quickly as possible. It is confusing for a child to “get away with it” the first three times you said it, and then get a swat on the fourth time. Now you’ve trained your child to obey on the fourth request, rather than the first.

5. Keep Trying. Don’t let failures set you back or keep you from trying again. Ask for advice from godly friends and take it all with a grain of salt against what God outlines in His word. It was a friend who recommended a book to me that helped tremendously. Her children are older than mine and they are all loving, respectful, and smart. I wanted that for my children.

6. Diligently Seek Wisdom and Discernment. Pray about your parenting. None of us are perfect, but when we allow God to lead us by studying His word, we gain knowledge and a better understanding of how we are to behave.

If you have questions or comments, please share below!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

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Announcing My Pregnancy

Published: 22 February 2017
Written by Lil Dino Mommy
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Categories: Marriage, Marriage, Pregnancy and Parenthood, Pregnancy

If you missed it, read the beginning of this story, called “Finding Out I’m Pregnant.”

How I Told My Husband He’s Going to Be a Father

After the shock wore off and I ceased gaping at the wonderful pee stick that announced the good news that I was, in fact, for the first time, pregnant, I set down the pregnancy test and skipped into the bedroom. I crawled in bed next to my husband, on HIS side, and said softly, “Honey, I’m pregnant.”

He stirred as my words sunk in. “Really?” he asked.

“Really!” I assured.

“Did you take it twice?” he murmured skeptically and not quite awake yet.

“No silly!” I said giving him a kiss. “You only have ‘1st morning urine’ once a day!”

The rest of the day went about as usual, with the exception of our complete distraction and giddiness. I remember my husband was working from home that day.  I spent most of the time in the office with him just so I could be close to him. We both worked quietly, sharing a glance and a smile now and then.

Eventually, we could no longer contain our joy or our silence. We started to talk about who we would tell and when. We knew that it was very early in the pregnancy. We had heard and knew many people that chose to wait for a certain milestone before making the announcement to others. As reasonable as this sounded, we just couldn’t wait! This was our miracle from God and somehow we knew He had granted us this child for the long haul. So we decided to tell our Mothers. We planned to tell his Mother first as she lived nearby and my then tell my Mother later that week, as she was coming to visit. (Good timing, eh?) With our first announcements decided, I set to work creating unique ways of telling them.

Telling His Mom

For his Mother we really outdid ourselves. I created a flyer of sorts with the details of the baby as we knew them. It wasn’t much, as we only knew the month and year the baby was due. As I completed my project, I was fairly pleased with myself and how it turned out. I thought I was finished, but my husband had the brilliant and creative idea to make it look like a piece of junk mail. So I set about part two of my project. Setting the dimensions of the envelope in Microsoft Publisher, I wrote out my mother-in-law’s address, with the words, “Urgent Notice” next to her name. I also wrote a fake return address in the top left corner. To make it look more “official”, I found a picture of a business mailer envelope that had the “Postage Paid” on it. I cropped that part out and pasted it on our “junk mailer”. Then I found a “Top Secret” stamp and put that on there too. I also typed in big red letters, “Open Immediately! Life Changing Event”. On the back of the envelope, I put a small, faded, grey picture of little baby footprints, thinking it would tip her off to the contents of the envelope.

We went over to her house that evening, and snuck the mailer into her mail pile, then feigned nosiness as we flipped through her mail and said, “Mom, what’s this?”

Barely looking it over, she said, “I don’t know. It’s junk. Throw it away!” (It was quite convincing.)  I stifled a giggle.

My husband said, “It might be important, Mom.” and handed the envelope to her.

She said, “It’s junk mail.” But began to open it, a little flustered with her son’s pushiness because she was trying to make dinner, and he wanted her to open this envelope. Upon seeing the footprints, she said, “Is this from the Pregnancy Crisis Center?” Then she continued to open it, none the wiser to our scheme.

She pulled out the flyer I made which contained some baby clip art, and asked, “Ready to be a Grandma? Baby Coming to a Son Near You, Fall 2016” It took her a while before it sunk in, then her eyes popped and her mouth dropped open as she looked at me (I was secretly snapping pictures of her with my phone) and said, “You’re Pregnant!” I nodded. “Oh my goodness!” Then she cried, but just like my husband and I had been all that day, she couldn’t stop smiling.

Telling My Mom

With the bar set high, I had a couple days to think up a creative way to tell my mother about my pregnancy. When she came into town, I had everything ready. She sat down on our sofa and I handed her a gift bag with the word “GRANDMA” in colorful, foam letters on it. (She thought it was for her mom, my Grandma.) I said, “Take a look.”

She opened the bag, finding one of my own Childhood Books inside. She opened it to find the insert I had made. It was another flyer which read, ”

Dear Grandma,

Mommy always enjoyed these books when she was a baby, so please read these to me when I arrive this fall.

Love always, your first Grandchild

Without missing a beat, she exclaimed, “REALLY?!”

“YES!” I affirmed.

“Aww!” she exclaimed as she also broke into tears of joy and gave me a hug.

 

My husband and I made other similar announcements to various family members. It was so much fun working together and thinking up unique ideas that catered to the individual we were telling.

Do you have a unique pregnancy announcement story you’d like to share?

“For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him.”
1 Samuel 1:27

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Finding Out I’m Pregnant!

Published: 12 February 2017
Written by Lil Dino Mommy
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Categories: Marriage, Pregnancy and Parenthood, Pregnancy

The happiest day of my life.

The happiest day of my life after my wedding day and before the day my son was born, was the day I found out I was pregnant.

I have mentioned before that my husband and I had wanted to have a baby for quite some time. From the first time we agreed to try to conceive to the moment of that positive pregnancy test was nearly three years.

I had spent a week at work feeling tired and strangely out of breath. I remember telling my boss as I was cleaning one day that I felt weird and jokingly told her, “Ha! Maybe I’m pregnant!” She said, “You better take a test.” I laughed it off at the time, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I had never quite felt the way I did.

Oh sure, I’d started my period a few days earlier, but come to think of it… It WAS super light. Nothing to really empty from the diva cup. Just some spotting. Hmmm…could I really be pregnant?

I had taken pregnancy tests before when I had experienced a couple late periods. My husband had been disappointed before, just as I had, so I decided I wasn’t going to say anything to him this time unless the outcome was a joyful one.

Of course, it was this night that our second vehicle was in the shop and so my husband picked me up from work. On the way home I asked if he would stop by the local pharmacy so I could pick up a couple things.

“What are you getting?” He asked.

“Something for me,” I replied.

“You’re buying a pregnancy test, aren’t you?” How does he know that?

“Yes, but I wasn’t planning to say anything to you about it, so let me be.”

“You’ve taken like 30 of those things.” He sighed.

“No.” I argued. “I have taken 6. Two 3-packs in 3 years. That’s hardly 30.”

“Well, it seems like you’ve taken a lot. Are you sure you want to buy these now?”

“Yes, I have my reasons. Please make the stop on the way home, honey.” I requested.

He did, and I bought another 3-pack of Clear Blue Pregnancy Tests, promising 99% accuracy. I honestly tried not to think too much of it. He was right, they’d just been a waste of money every other time. Maybe I should just go home. But I continued in my mission.

Prepping for the Test

Once we got home, I showered away the work day, and followed my normal getting-ready-for-bed-routine, making a point to read the test directions before going to sleep. I knew I had to wait for that first morning urine to have the best results (despite what the test directions said), and I didn’t want to try to “hold it” while I fiddled with reading them the next morning.

I went to sleep that night the same as every night, not truly expecting anything to be different in the morning.

The next morning in the 6 o’clock hour, nature’s call woke me and I went into the bathroom. Groggy with the new day, I would have forgotten my mission from the night before, had my night owl wisdom not laid everything out for me.

Doing the pee-pee dance, I hurriedly snapped the cap off the test stick and set to work. I set the test behind me on the top of the toilet and went about washing my hands… and washing my face… and brushing my teeth…, not daring to go near the pee stick that was bound to herald bad news again.

The Results

Once my 3 minutes were up, I nonchalantly walked over and picked up the test.

PREGNANT.

What?! I looked again.

PREGNANT.

I stared at that one, simple word in utter shock as my eyes filled up with tears.

I smiled. I was pregnant!

[Hannah] made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life…”
1 Samuel 1:11a

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Getting Pregnant Wasn’t as Easy as I Thought…

Published: 22 January 2017
Written by Lil Dino Mommy
No comments
Categories: Marriage, Pregnancy and Parenthood, Parenthood

Am I a Failure?

Like so many others, my husband and I felt the sting of trying and seemingly failing to conceive a child.

About three years into our marriage, we decided we were ready to start a family. Naturally, we believed pure willpower and the act of not preventing was enough to accomplish this. So that very month, when it didn’t happen, we were terribly disappointed.

I took it much harder than my husband did. Let me rephrase. I took it on as my own personal failure. Month after month reared its ugly head, as my period proclaimed the message that I was not pregnant. I was certain I was barren. I began to believe, that somehow, rational or not, I was less of a woman for not “accomplishing the task” of pregnancy. When it seems like everyone around me was getting pregnant and having babies, I was left feeling incomplete. 

People would tell us “Once you stop trying, you’ll get pregnant.” To this day, I still don’t know how to mentally or emotionally stop trying. God instilled an innate desire to bear children within a woman. Needless to say, I was not good at following this advice. Being pregnant was all I wanted. It was all I could think about.

God’s Will and Timing are Perfect

Somehow the adage rang true for us.  After three years of trying, my husband and I figured it probably wasn’t going to happen. Maybe a child wasn’t a part of God’s plan for us. We decided to buy a couch set. I was pregnant within the month. I’m a firm believer that God’s will and His timing are absolutely perfect.  I know we were blessed in the fact that we were able to conceive naturally.  Many other couples struggle for years more than we did. They go through costly treatments and procedures trying to conceive and the disappointment is all the more heart crushing after each failed attempt.

The timing of my pregnancy was definitely God’s timing.  A month previous, our marriage was bending and on the verge of breaking. I had resentment towards my husband for many things, and I had to daily take it to my Abba Father in prayer. When I prayed, I said, “God, my husband is enough…for the rest of my life, he is enough.” You see, our family was started when we were married in 2010. We were a complete family then and will still be once we are empty-nesters (a looooong time from now). God had made us one and complete in Him. Even without children, my husband was enough. To take it further, even without my husband, God was enough, but He had blessed me with “the husband of my youth” and I had been taking him for granted.

Take Nothing For Granted

What I have realized looking back and talking with others – especially those who seem to be able to plan each child to their exact specifications – is that I seemed to appreciate my pregnancy journey so much more than I would have, had we conceived earlier in our marriage.  Instead of it being something we had just expected would happen when we were ready, it became a gift that we had prayed earnestly for. God had granted our request and blessed us with a child. My pregnancy will forever be a time in our lives that we cherish.

Cherishing My Life

I honestly have never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. I felt like a woman. All the months of feeling barren had left me wanting, and with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy, which was a lie straight from the enemy. Now my body was being purposed in the ultimate way – to nurture a little life. God’s design is amazing. The intricacies of a baby’s development will leave one in awe. (In fact, in this modern age, science is “proving” what the Bible has told us all a long: Life begins at conception!) So despite the morning sickness; the aches and pains as my body changed and stretched; the hormonal, seemingly out-of-body experiences (seriously, there’s nothing like those hormones); and the difficult task of natural labor; I truly enjoyed pregnancy. (I highly recommend the keeping of a pregnancy journal. It is so neat to look back over after your baby is born or even later in your pregnancy. You’ll be surprised what you forget!)

As for my husband, he was thrilled. Our marriage, which was on the mend previous to my becoming pregnant, really blossomed as we shared the experience of preparing for our child, listening to his heartbeat, and seeing and feeling him move. I cherished my husband. During labor I appreciated the support and coaching from my husband rather than cursing him for his contribution. (There was no yelling, “YOU did this to me!” in the delivery room. Haha!) I thanked God for this wonderful gift of life growing inside me. It was a beautiful journey that was the segue into the wonderful (and scary!) current adventure that is motherhood.

To any readers who may be feeling the struggle of trying to conceive, take heart. My best advise is to lift your struggle up in prayer. As a married woman, you are a complete family with your husband. Cherish and love one another. Trust God and His will.

Continue in the habit of prayer no matter what your situation.

Once you do become pregnant, your need for God’s wisdom and grace will increase exponentially, and then again once your child is born, grows, and needs your guidance.

Remember, it is God that opens the womb. See 1 Samuel, Chapter 1 for the story of Hannah, who longed and prayed for her child, Samuel.

“It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.” 1 Samuel 1:20 NASB

More on Conception:

Do Not Let Conception Become Your Idol

 

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