My son is almost 2 years old now, and I am feeling extremely blessed for a variety of things.
I could go on and on about how intelligent my son is and praise God he is hitting every milestone. I am thankful for his very life! Which, admittedly, he challenges me to save nearly every day as he tests out his ever growing strength and physical capabilities. And I’m so very grateful for my husband, with whom I am privileged to call mine. It’s such an honor and brings me so much joy to stand by his side and raise our son together.
What a Journey!
I want to highlight another blessing that I have been reminded of. It’s a portion of Lil Dino Daddy, Lil Dino, and my journey that is looked back upon as a very vivid, bittersweet time.
I’m thankful to still be breastfeeding my son. I have posted before on the benefits of breastfeeding. (I want to also write soon about the benefits of breastfeeding a toddler.)
Let God Lead – Be Prayerful
But today, what I want to highlight is the importance of bringing God unto your decisions, and very specifically the importance of doing so through prayer. You know, the more I read the Bible, the more it makes sense to me. Reading through the Psalms and Proverbs and seeing exactly what God says about how to deal with life is incredibly helpful and practical.
Although, there are days when I don’t read God’s Word (and severely regret it as it is the ultimate way to “think on good things”), there are days when I don’t pray as I should. It’s becoming more habitual as now my son is the one holding me accountable at meal times. 😉
Prayer is Easier When I’m Desperate
My prayer life was never as strong as it was when I was struggling to breastfeed my son. In those early days that turned into weeks, and then turned to months, I just kept asking God for this “good gift” for my baby.
Over the past several years, beginning with my pregnancy, my husband and I have been striving to get back to the basics of life and nature and the way God designed things to be. (For instance, how food is not only life giving, but healing as well!) We’re learning to be more frugal, to waste less, taking steps – baby steps – to be healthier and be more cautious about what we put in and on our bodies. To us, breastfeeding was the natural extension of that lifestyle that we are gradually moving towards. It was the healthiest, most natural, most nutritious, way to feed our child. It was right in line with how God designed it and I was failing!
However, with the support of Lil’ Dino Daddy and others, and through much prayer and petition to our Abba Father, we were successful!
Take Heart! Ask for Help. Rejoice in the Lord!
So please let me encourage any of you new (or seasoned) Mamas who might be struggling with feeling like a failure in some way. Lean on God. Reach out to Him and ask Him for your needs. He wants to help you and guide you. He wants to hear from you, (just like you would want to hear from that tiny baby in your arms once he or she has grown up!).
Also, look around you and ask others for help. Many people want to help, but do not know how unless you tell them specifically.
Remember, no matter how a situation turns out, to worship God. I took many an opportunity rocking my baby to simply sing and pray OUT LOUD.
James 5:11
“Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”
May we pray for you?
Feel free to comment what’s on your heart below. I would love for this to become a community and a safe place for all Mamas to share and learn from one another.
Have a story to share?
Email me your story and we’ll work together to post it on the blog.
Contact me at LilDinoMommy@ourlittledinosaur.com
Need Breastfeeding Help?
I used this resource many times in that early stage of breastfeeding. I reference it even now as we are thinking of night weaning. Thanks KellyMom for being an online support for me and a place for me to find answers to what I thought were unlikely questions.
I began this evening writing out a different post. I paused to put my son to bed. (He had been playing hard and giggling lots with his Daddy.) As he nursed quietly in the dark, I felt him relax and I knew he was asleep. That relaxing has become so familiar to me now, but it wasn’t always.
Before reading tonight’s Bible passages, I opened up the Prime Photo App on my phone. Every day, the app will feature all the pictures from prior years. This has become something my husband and I do daily, and then we chat about it. “Hey, did you see this picture from 2009?”
My son was not gaining weight, but growing in length, and was looking….well, he looked like a starving baby. He didn’t have the precious, chunky baby fat that most full-term babies have. He was very thin. These pictures are so hard to look back at, but still I scrolled through them. This day last year is definitely the worst my son ever looked…
At the time, I didn’t recognize by looking at him that he wasn’t well. He was just my beautiful baby boy whom I love so, so, so much.
Come Before His Presence with Thanksgiving
After looking over these pictures, I opened up the Bible app on my phone and saw the featured verse:
“Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods.”
Psalm 95: 1-2
That’s when I decided my post for this evening needed to be different.
I am so thankful for my son. I’m thankful for his health. Today, I watched him eat porridge and blueberries for breakfast, eggs with cheese, and apple for lunch, and squash and peas for dinner, not to mention he still breastfeeds throughout the day and night like a champ. I’m so thankful that we don’t have to watch him struggle to eat…struggle to live. I’m thankful for his smile and his laugh and for the awesome privilege of watching him learn something new almost every single day.
After I finished my Bible reading for the night, I set my phone down, and lifted my sleeping son onto my shoulder and hugged him as I do every night. I’ll admit, I hugged him a little closer and a little longer than I do most nights. I’m just so glad he’s in my life. I’m so thankful I have the privilege of being his Mommy, and getting to share this journey of life at the side of my husband.
6 Reasons I Am Thankful
We all have many things to be grateful for, but it can be easy to lose sight of our blessings, when we lose perspective on what our hope is. Our hope is in the Lord.
Although, it is not exhaustive, here is a list of 6 reasons I am thankful.
I am thankful for my husband. This man is incredible. He was incredible before I could call him “mine”. He’s extremely intelligent and loves to dig for the truth in God’s Word. He loves the Lord. He is a wonderful father. It is such a joy to see him guide our son, even at such a young stage of life. He is an amazing husband, a true leader in our home, and the love of my life. He is an encourager. He is a visionary, who makes our dreams into plans so they can become a reality. I am thankful for his love.
I am thankful for my son. I know I already wrote this, but truly, this child is so precious to me. He brings me such joy, and forces me to be a better person just in the very fact that I have to be a good example for him in everything I do and say because he is watching and learning. He is smart. He is healthy. He is strong. He is willful. He is cuddly and learning to be affectionate. I can already see signs of empathy in him as he is sensitive to how other babies feel. I am so thankful I get to watch him grow up!
I am thankful for our health. Although, I don’t always do what I need to do to take care of my body as God would have me to, I have been blessed with good health. My husband and son have too. I am doing what I can to learn about keeping our bodies strong and healthy, so that we can honor God with what he has given us. Our bodies are a gift and we need to take care of them, rather than abuse them.
I am thankful for our home. This one can be difficult for me sometimes because I have to catch myself when I begin to complain about it. Since moving to the apartment this past summer, I have really missed our house. I have missed the giant sink that actually held all my dirty dishes. I have missed our backyard, and the space, and our neighbors. But I am thankful for this home. It is more than sufficient as a safe, comfortable roof over our head. We have a lot more in this apartment than many other people, and we need to be thankful for it, even when it lacks what our larger home did. This apartment has encouraged us to do so much we needed to do, to include purging STUFF. We have so much stuff we do NOT need, and living in a smaller space has helped us let go of a lot of extra, unneeded, and truly unwanted stuff. It has forced us to be creative in our gardening. We wasted a lot of good soil in our yard and working with a small space has helped us appreciate what we will do when we have more land again. Most importantly, it pushes us to work towards our goals – the very reason we moved here in the first place: to save more money than we could have in our house.
I am thankful for time with my family. Living closer to my husband’s work cut my husband’s commute by over an hour. This helps us save money on gas and car maintenance, but most importantly, it has enabled us to spend more time together. Not only is my husband home longer in the mornings before he leaves for work, but he also is home much earlier. AND as a bonus, a couple times a week, he comes home for lunch, which is such a sweet treat for both my son and me.
I am thankful for God’s gift of salvation and His Word. God has blessed me with all of the above, and so much more than I can mention. Even if I had none of the aforementioned blessings, I would still be abundantly blessed in the Lord. To know God and be covered by His grace is a gift more incredible than anything. God loves me. Wow! Jesus sacrificed His very life so that I may live forever with Him one day in His kingdom. All my wrongdoings have been forgiven. In Christ, I find my joy, and the “peace that passes all understanding” – a peace that cannot be found apart from him. This is what I am most thankful for. It is a privilege to be able to study the scriptures with my husband, and pass this knowledge on to my son as we guide him through life. This is what I consider our greatest responsibility.
So, what about you?
Have you been taking the blessings of life for granted? What are you most thankful for?
“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
1 Chronicles 16:34
Two mornings ago, around 4:30, I was putting my son back to sleep after a feeding. He fell asleep quickly, and I laid him in his crib. I then proceeded to get a drink of water and use the bathroom. After washing my hands, I was suddenly very aware of how dry they were.
By the dim light of the small night light we keep in the bathroom, I saw a large bottle of lotion and quickly pumped a generous amount onto my hands. I worked it over my fingers and hands, then deciding what I was doing was a good thing, I continued up my arms and past my elbows.
As I stood there in those few seconds, moisturizing, I felt like I was doing a good thing for myself, and then the moment came when I recognized the scent of what I was lathering onto my arms and hands.
That’s Not Lotion
Oh no! I thought. Tired, my moment of pride passing quickly, I rolled my eyes and held up the bottle to the night light to confirm what my nose had told me. I shook my head as I read the word, SHAMPOO.
Sticky. Thick. Goopy. SHAMPOO! I took a step toward the sink and turned on the faucet, where I proceeded to rinse off my mishap.
A few minutes later, I crawled back into bed (smelling really good I might add), and with my hands just as dry as they had been when this wee morning hour adventure began.
So, if you’re ever in need of a little excitement in your life, just follow the advice of the ol’ marketing ploy. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Or in my case, Lather. Panic. Rinse. And go back to sleep!
Proverbs 17:22a “A joyful heart is good medicine…”
My son had trouble from the beginning latching on to breastfeed. When my milk came in three days after he was born, he was really struggling because my breasts were so full. (That can be difficult for any newborn even without ties).
I had a lactation consultant out and she watched us through the feeding and gave us some tips and gave us an A+. I guess because I had studied so much, I must have been compensating for any issues that were happening, because the outward perception was we were doing great.
By day five, I knew we were having a problem because he was hungry and frustrated but he wouldn’t eat. The LC had mentioned a possible lip tie, but I didn’t know what that was so it didn’t click for me that he had a birth defect. I just thought I wasn’t doing something right. On top of that, my nipples hurt. They were cracked and bleeding. (To read about those first days breastfeeding my son, click here.)
We went in for his check ups and he wasn’t gaining weight at all, so we started supplementing and went back to the LC. Now that he was a little older she said the tie wasn’t stretching and recommended we have it released. His tongue also looked fine, but as we found out at the pediatric dentist, he had a posterior tongue tie in addition to the lip tie.
When my son was just three weeks old we had both his lip tie and tongue tie revised with a surgery called a frenectomy.
What are Tongue Ties and How Do They Affect Breastfeeding?
I didn’t know anything about ties, so hopefully this will enlighten any of our readers. Basically, all over our bodies we have various frenulum, which is a small fold of tissue that prevents an organ in the body from moving too far. This tissue in my son’s upper lip and under his tongue were too restrictive, and both can cause problems with feeding, especially breastfeeding, (although it can cause issues with bottle feeding as well).
A tongue tie hinders the up-and-down motion of the tongue, which affects breastfeeding in that it is directly linked to low milk supply because there is not enough milk extracted from the breast.
With a posterior tongue-tie, the tongue does not extend over the gum, which causes the tongue to chew, or as I like to call it, “chomp” on the nipple.
How Do Lip Ties Affect Breastfeeding?
With a lip tie, the baby is unable to latch effectively. This is because the lip is hindered from flanging outward during a feeding. The mouth is unable to open wide and a smaller mouth opening means a shallower latch. So all the pain I was feeling was a combination of the tongue chewing on my nipple and my son sliding his latch down to just nurse on the nipple.
When breastfeeding correctly, you want a deep latch that includes the areola as well as the nipple. The lips form a much more effective seal when it is formed with the mucous membrane inside the lip, rather than the dry part of the outward lip. (This latch is correct, and thus pain-free!)
These ties were causing pain for me and beginning to cause me to have low milk supply because my son wasn’t able to latch properly or extract enough milk. In turn, this caused him to not gain weight and get labeled FTT.
Surgery to Release the Ties
The out-patient surgery, (or surgeries I should say), were very quick. Of course, before the surgery I was extremely emotional (being just three weeks postpartum, plus all we had been through with his sluggish weight gain and the crazy feeding routine we were following to get him to gain). It was the first time our son had ever been out of sight of either my husband or me.
Our pediatric dentist was recommended to us by my lactation consultant and he was such a kind and reassuring doctor. He was great with our tiny son and with us. When I inevitably started the waterworks, he said gently, “It’ll be OK mom.”
So they took my son into the other room and he had the laser surgery to remove both ties. It took less than 15 minutes. Due to the fact it was a laser surgery, there was no bleeding and very little inflammation. We were told we could give him Tylenol and use a numbing agent if needed. The only post-op care he needed, besides the mild pain relief, was very simple. We had to run our finger over the wounds both under his lip and under his tongue to keep the frenulum from reattaching.
We were also advised not to use coconut oil to aid in achieving a deeper latch, because it was such an effective healing agent.
Did Releasing the Ties Aid Breastfeeding?
The short answer is, yes. Some people see results right away and for others it takes time. We fell into the latter category. I believe that in those three weeks my son hadn’t been building the muscles he needed to breastfeed, so he had a lot of weaknesses in his mouth and jaw. We saw a speech pathologist to help strengthen these weaknesses. The release of both the lip and tongue tie, coupled with the help of the speech pathologist did lead to my son’s exclusively breastfeeding before he turned 3 months old.
Why Go Through All the Trouble to Breastfeed?
It was very important to both my husband and to me that I breastfeed my son. There are so many incredible benefits to breastfeeding a baby.
Also, lip and tongue ties can lead to other issues besides early feeding struggles, to include:
trouble with feeding an older baby or toddler solids,
speech challenges, and
dental problems.
So although breastfeeding was our main catalyst for having the ties released, we wanted to help our son avoid additional challenges later on as well.
Tell Us About Your Experience and Leave a Comment Below!
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7
I’ve mentioned previously, that my breastfeeding journey with my son was atypical to say the least. For some mother and baby pairs, it truly is the easiest thing in the world. Whereas for others, it’s one monster short of a nightmare. You are not alone. Over 90% of mothers report having breastfeeding struggles in those early months.
So here are the breastfeeding basics, as well as some things I learned on my more difficult road. Again, I will emphasize, the struggle was totally worth the ultimate goal of exclusively breastfeeding, so I hope this will encourage new Mamas to stick with it!
Forming a Good Latch
When your baby is born, his mouth is tiny. Depending on your breast size and shape, you may have to do some creative manipulating in order for your baby to have a proper and deep latch. When latched properly, your baby will not cause you pain. Also, the deeper the latch, the more effectively your baby will be able to transfer milk.
Creating a C
When breastfeeding books and LC’s say to create a C with your hand, it may help you to know you’re going to be smushing your boob. So take your hand and gently smush the front of your breast to form a shape your baby’s mouth can get a handle on. If you are like me, you may end up needing to hold cross-cradle with one arm and use the other hand to hold the breast for your baby while he eats.
More than You Think
When I talk to other mothers who recount their breastfeeding experience from the beginning, many (including me) are surprised that the baby’s mouth doesn’t just need to surround the nipple, but much of the areola as well. The nipple is the conduit for the milk to flow, but it’s actually the areola that, when stimulated, activates the letdown reflex. More noticeably, a shallow latch containing just the nipple is guaranteed to be a painful one.
Lip Flange
You want your baby’s lips to flange outward. (Think fish lips.) The mucous membrane on the inside of the mouth should be around the breast, rather than the dry, outer part of the lip. This will help your baby get a deeper latch. If the lip is flipped inward, it WILL HURT, so go ahead and take a finger and gently slide it under that top lip to encourage baby not to curl his lip under. Some women use coconut oil or even a little of their own spit to aid in getting the lips to flange. You may also want to ask a healthcare professional to check for a lip tie, as these can hinder breastfeeding efforts.
Placement of the Tongue
When properly latched, your baby’s tongue should come up over the bottom gum line to create a seal around your breast. The up and down motion of the tongue is what aids in proper milk extraction. This is good news when your baby gets older and gets his bottom teeth first as there shouldn’t be any unintentional biting or teeth grazing going on.
Is My Baby Getting Milk?
Now that your baby is latched, how will you know if he is getting milk? Here are a few things to watch for:
Sucks and Swallows
Take a look at your baby’s jaw as he suckles. Are you able to count the times he sucks and then see him swallow? The ratio should be low – 1:1 or 1:2. If he seems to be suckling a lot before actually swallowing, this may indicate there is a problem with milk transfer, and you may want to consider seeing a lactation consultant and asking them about breastfeeding friendly speech pathologists. In the case of my son, he had a lip tie which hindered proper milk transfer, and he needed the speech pathologist’s exercises to strengthen his mouth and jaw. You will also want to monitor the number of wet and soiled diapers as well as proper weight gain to help ascertain your baby is getting enough milk.
Posture
Posture is a great way to tell that your baby is getting milk and is feeding enough. As you begin to nurse your baby, take a look at your baby’s posture. Chances are at the beginning of the nursing session, his body may be tense, elbows bent, with his hands up by the face, and his hands making a fist. This is a hungry baby. (Read about more early hunger signs here.) As your baby continues to nurse, he will slowly relax. His arm will come down or be easily pulled to his side and his hands will relax as he unclenches his fists. This is a sated baby.
Trust Your Gut and Ask Questions.
I remember in those weeks before the birth of my baby, I researched everything from the type of high chair I would use to what to expect during labor. I failed miserably to do enough research about caring for my baby after he was born. I was the oldest child of six, after all. What could I possibly need to know? *eye roll*
After my son was born, and we took him home, I was actually embarrassed by everything I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to ask a lot of questions because I didn’t want anyone to question my ability as a parent. In hindsight, every first time parent is in the same boat, and I had nothing to be embarrassed about. So, feel free to ask questions from those around you or call your care provider when in doubt. If you think something is off or you don’t understand, trust yourself and your spouse.
Those first hours after your baby is born, you both are tired and excited, and oh yes, your hormones are crazy too. It’s hard to remember all the instructions that are given to you. So call back that LC and ask the questions again. Repetition is a good thing for learning, and this is after all a new learning experience.
Oh and if you are not a first time parent, that doesn’t mean you should remember everything just because you did this once or a few times before. Ask those questions. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it 100 times, “Every baby is different.” Don’t forget, online research is your friend too.
Enjoy this journey with your baby. It is so fulfilling and special.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
Note: In this article, many of the hyperlinks will take you to articles that support my research about breastfeeding. Happy reading!
Making Breastfeeding a Reality
Before the birth of my son, it was always my desire to exclusively breastfeed my baby. It never really occurred to me to do it any other way. As it turns out, the more I read and researched, the more pleased I became about this decision. If you have read about my breastfeeding journey with my son, you know that in the beginning I wasn’t able to make exclusive breastfeeding a reality. However, before my son was three months old, he was exclusively breastfeeding. Praise the Lord!
And despite the fact that for our family in those first three months, breastfeeding was NOT a cheaper than if we had chosen a formula path, my husband, (who is very frugally minded), was still on board with the decision because of all the amazing benefits breastfeeding had to offer both our child and me as well. So…
Some may ask “Why go through all this trouble just to breastfeed when there are other options for feeding a baby in today’s society?”
Here are 15 Amazing Reasons Why I Breastfeed My Baby:
Benefits for the Baby:
1. Colostrum. The first “milk” a new mother produces is a thick, yellowish, almost clear fluid, called Colostrum. Colostrum is also referred to as “liquid gold”. Why? Colostrum is nutrient-packed and contains everything your baby needs in those first few days of life. Colostrum acts similarly to a vaccine in that it works to ward off infections and viruses that your baby may be exposed to. It also helps to prepare your baby’s tummy for the milk that will come in 3-5 days later.
2. Antibodies and Immune Defense. When a baby breastfeeds, that baby not only receives the antibodies his mother has been exposed to over her lifetime, but, due to the adaptive capability of the milk, also receives antibodies for illnesses that he is exposed to. As soon as a baby has been exposed to something, the act of nursing signals an immune response in the mother that produces the right antibodies the baby needs to ward off the illness. How incredible is that!
3. Superior Nutrition. As a baby grows and changes, so does the mother’s milk based on what the baby needs. The combination of vitamins, protein, and fat makes it a superior nutrition. A baby’s growth spurts, where the baby feeds more often, aid in increasing the mother’s milk supply. Breast milk is also said to contain live organisms, which formula cannot duplicate.
4. Pleasant Poop. Yes, you read that correctly. Exclusively breastfed poop is completely water soluble (which is great for cloth diapering or blowouts) and truly doesn’t have an unpleasant odor. Take it from this Mama who used formula as well, formula poop smells awful! Then there’s the fact that breastfed babies may actually poop less often. Due to the nutrient rich content of breast milk, there’s less “waste” as the baby’s body is better able to absorb it as opposed to formula.
5. Better for Reflux. Continuing on the subject of digestion, breastmilk is easier on a baby’s tummy than formula. Babies stomachs are incredibly immature, and those who breastfeed are less likely to have issues with reflux.
6. Developmental Benefits. There are incredible developmental benefits for a breastfeeding baby as well.
Physical development: the act of suckling actually helps to properly form a baby’s mouth and jaw development, which will aid them later in life when they begin eating and speaking. Bottle fed babies are not required to utilize these muscles the same way.
Mental development: According to WebMD, “Breastfeeding has been linked to higher IQ scores in later childhood in some studies.” I’ll take that as a bonus!
7. Easy On-the-Go! There is considerably less preparation when it comes to feeding a breastfed baby, as opposed to feeding with a bottle. You already have your baby’s food wherever you go, and it’s already in the perfect amount and the perfect temperature. I remember back in the formula days, trying to keep all the bottles washes and ready and measuring out formula and water. I wouldn’t say it’s difficult to do, but definitely takes more prep time when you’re needing to leave the house.
8. Special Bond. I believe all babies bond with their mothers, no matter how they are fed. However, there is something to be said for those special moments of closeness, eye contact, and skin to skin comfort and security the baby feels. Not to mention the hilarious things your baby does while nursing as he gets older.
10. Faster Post Partum Healing. Once a baby is born, the act of breastfeeding helps the uterus contract back to a normal size, which promotes faster post partum healing.
12. Two words: No Period! Who didn’t love being pregnant if only for that one reason? Breastfeeding delays ovulation, and thus menstruation as well. Some couples even use it as a natural birth control method, (though few care providers will recommend it as a sole method).
13. Help Losing Weight. Breastfeeding can help in post partum weight loss efforts as it can burn 400-500 calories a day!
14. Decreased Risk of PP Depression. Breastfeeding releases “feel-good” hormones, which can aid in bonding with your baby. Breastfeeding mothers are also 50% less likely to deal with post partum depression than those who do not.
15. Cheap. Although this wasn’t the case for us at first, generally speaking, there is a cost efficiency for the majority families who are able and choose to go the breastfeeding route.
“So how long should I breastfeed my baby?”
We’ll address this question more fully in another post, but there are definite benefits to breastfeeding your child past the first year of his life. The World Health Organization (WHO) actually recommends that a child be fed breast milk for at least the first 2 years. WHO also encourages mothers who may be struggling with breastfeeding to seek out expert support so that they can learn to successfully breastfeed.
So there you have it! 15 AMAZING reasons to breastfeed your baby!
The truth is that God designed mothers to be able to nourish their children, and despite man’s best effort, no supplement can come close to God’s design.
“From the God of your father who helps you, And by the Almighty who blesses you With blessings of heaven above, Blessings of the deep that lies beneath, Blessings of the breasts and of the womb.” Genesis 49:25
I was recently sent an article regarding a woman whose baby was struggling to nurse and basically starving because the baby could not physically remove milk from the breast. After much trial, the mother chose to formula feed. The article’s point? Fed is Best.
I would like to reiterate this point: Fed is Best. (And no I don’t mean the Federal government. I mean that a fed and full child is best. Yes, my mommy brain went there and was confused by the article until my smart brain kicked in.)
This article hit home for me because my son also struggled to nurse and for the first 4 weeks, before we put him on high-calorie formula, he was in fact, a failure to thrive baby.
For those Mommies out there like me who knew from the start of their pregnancy they wanted to breastfeed, and had the motto, “Breast is Best” ingrained in their minds. These Mom’s looked forward to breastfeeding and prepared for it while pregnant. They researched the heck out of it, they asked other Mommies about their experiences, and they, quite literally, dreamed about it. For Mothers who plan so thoroughly, it can be quite a blow when someone suggests putting your baby on formula.
Uh, ex-squeeze me? Did you say formula?
As my midwife put it, “Formula is not the devil.” Upon hearing these words, I rationally knew what she was saying, but emotionally my heart was saying, “But formula is bad.”
Let me say now, it really isn’t. And this is coming from the Mama who had to go take a shower to BAWL HER EYES OUT while my husband gave our baby his first BOTTLE of formula.
Mommies listen. Formula is not “bad”. It can nourish your baby. It can fill your baby’s tummy. It can keep your baby healthy. If you’re a new Mama who is needing to put your baby on formula, that’s ok. There was a time in my very recent past, I truly did not believe that, but it really is all right.
If you really want to, there is still the option to continue to breastfeed. Some options include:
Partial breastfeeding – While working towards your breastfeeding goals, but supplementing with formula or pumped breast milk, nursing can be done to still reap the wonderful benefits. The benefits are what sold us on it in the first place, right?
Exclusive pumping – If nursing your baby simply isn’t a possibility, some mothers choose to pump their breast milk and feed this to their babies in bottles. To read about efficient pumping, click here.
Exclusive formula feeding – This is a perfectly acceptable option. I know, love, and respect my dear friends and family members who have chosen this option.
Now those of you who know my story know that I did whatever it took to breastfeed as much as possible. For me, I used a combination of partial breastfeeding and pumping and worked toward the goal of exclusively breastfeeding. Those of you who KNOW me personally, know that I am as stubborn as they come. I had to constantly check myself to make sure I wasn’t being selfish in my desire to breastfeed. My decision was to salvage nursing using any means necessary. I had the time, determination, resources, and most importantly, the support (my dear, sweet husband is a Saint), to make it happen for my son and me. It was a very difficult path, but one I’m glad I took.
Now, this does not make me a “better” mother than Mama’s who choose to formula feed. These Mommies are amazing women, some of which I learn from every single day. Their wisdom and insight are what make me a better Mother than I could be without their experiences to pull from.
So if you are pregnant and starting your research into breastfeeding or if you are just starting your journey into motherhood, again or for the first time, you will hear over and over again, “Breast is Best” by many reputable organizations such as the La Leche League. There is some very helpful information to be gleaned here, but you will read about how any obstacle to breastfeeding can be overcome. While this is true the vast majority of the time, sometimes it just isn’t going to work and you may have to make a different choice. And THAT’S OK!
So, in the spirit of Fed is Best, here is my new motto: Hungry Baby is Bad. Formula is Good (Not Bad). Breast is Better. Fed is Best.
Tell us your experience. How do you feed your baby?
“For thus says the LORD, “Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees.” Isaiah 66:12
Your baby finally fell asleep! You want to pump and you only have 15 minutes because, let’s face it, you need a nap too. How can you get the best “bang for your buck” so to speak when it comes to pumping?
Keep reading for 6 tips on how to pump most efficiently.
1. Don’t get discouraged.
Let your body get used to pumping.
If you’re just starting out, you’re not going to get as much as you will once your body grows accustom to your pump. Our bodies weren’t designed to produce milk for a machine. They were designed to produce milk for the sweet, warm bundle of joy you nourish.
So keep at it. Once your body realizes it’s safe to letdown for your pump, it will. Though, under normal circumstances, you will never pump as much as your baby can transfer, so don’t get discouraged by the amount in the bottle either. Every drop of liquid gold is a blessing.
2. Relax.
There’s an element of instinct when it comes to milk production. In a flight or fight situation OR when you’re under stress, your breasts aren’t going to want to respond with the ample supply of milk that flows so well in response to happy hormones. So when it comes to pumping (and nursing too), it’s important to relax.
Grab a book, warm some tea, and, my favorite, eat a cookie. Favorite recipe here. You want to activate those lovely happy hormones (prolactin and oxytocin) to get your milk flowing.
I’ll never forget when the LC came out to my home for the first time and showed me how to use my pump. We were manipulating the breast tissue in the pump and a loud pfft escaped. Like an adolescent, I cracked up laughing. I immediately had a letdown, which my LC attributed and announced was due to a lovely…boob fart.
3. Use the Correct Flange Size.
Usually pumps come with a standard flange which varies by brand. And let’s face it, boobs are not one size fits all and neither is the size flange, which is actually determined by the size of the nipple, not the breast.
Correct flange size is critical for comfortable pumping. Ideally, one should be able to use the highest setting on your pump for the purpose of drainage, without pain.
Flanges are too small if the nipple is being pinched or touches the wall of the flange. Small flanges cause problems with draining, not to mention a lot of pain.
Flanges are too large if breast tissue is being pulled up into the small cylindrical part of the flange. This can caused pinched ducts farther up the breast, which can also hinder proper draining of the breast.
Flanges that fit correctly will, first and foremost, be comfortable. With the breast shield in place, the nipple will move easily as the pump stimulates and extracts the milk. The areola will constrict slightly (but not painfully – similar to when a baby nurses) which also aids in stimulating for optimum milk transfer.
Flanges of different sizes and for different pump brands can be purchased when the size provided with your pump doesn’t fit properly.
Keep in mind that the size of flange you need for one breast may differ from the size needed for the other. Get what you need! Don’t sacrifice your nipples!
I bought my Spectra flanges on Amazon, which also carries Medela, a very popular brand for pumping. Other brands of pumping accessories can also be found and purchased.
(Medela kits also work with hospital grade pumps, which you can rent at fairly reasonable costs. If you’re struggling with supply, using a hospital grade pump may be a help to you. Ask your LC!)
4. Make Certain the Nipple is Centered
This may seem easier said than done, especially when manipulating the breast and breaking suction can cause precious milk to leak out and make a mess.
In my experience, it’s best to get everything situated during the two minute stimulation phase, rather than the extraction phase.
Center the breast shield around your nipple. If necessary, move some of the breast tissue up into the shield a bit. This can help avoid “wandering nipples” as my lactation consultant calls them. (Experiment to be sure scrunching the breast tissue doesn’t hinder the flow and emptying of the breast.)
If one or both of your nipples look like it’s going off to one side (a.k.a. Wandering Nipples), slowly pull the breast tissue away from the direction it’s leaning. Be sure to hold the flange so that the whole thing doesn’t come off. Also be sure the milk flow is going down and away from your body so that if the suction does break, you aren’t mourning the loss of that precious liquid.
5. Be Handsy. Shake. Massage. Do Compressions.
What do I mean by handsy? Well, I mean get in there and see what makes your milk flow. Don’t be shy.
Shake.
Quite literally shake your breasts out before pumping (and nursing) to loosen the fatty milk in the ducts. This makes it easier to get the hind milk when you experience letdown and extract a great volume as well.
Breast massage.
Doing breast massage before pumping (and nursing) is also effective at loosening the milk in the ducts. Start up and out, away from your nipple and work down and in, towards the nipple in long, downward strokes. Don’t forget the tissue near your armpits as milk can be stored there as well.
Breast Compressions.
Using breast compressions can potentially increase the extracted volume of milk by 50% or more. Breast tissue can be found all the way up near your armpits, so get to squeezing and see what works the best. See technique here.
6. Twisted Nipple Trick
Say what?! Yes, you heard me but don’t go hurting yourself. Milk ducts don’t always form a nice straight line like anatomical diagrams may suggest. In fact, they can be a lot like a wet noodle, so sometimes changing the direction of the breast can help a bit.
To do the “twist”, simply take the flange and gently twist 90 degrees one way and then the other. See what happens.
This is not an exhaustive list of tricks while pumping, but it’s a start. Everyone is different so what works for one person may not work for another and vice verse, so don’t be afraid to experiment and see what works best for you!
Bonus Tip:
Use your nursing bra or camisole to hold your pump in place, so you can be hands free!
For all you seasoned pumpers, what tricks have you found helpful?
“If the LORD is pleased with us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us—a land which flows with milkandhoney.”
Numbers 14:8
Remember, our bodies are designed to be amazing! God thought of everything and our bodies respond to the needs of our babies.
The concept of “emptying the breast” can be a bit misleading, but have no fear, our breasts were designed for the purpose of feeding our children. And this is still true even after pumping.
The breast is never truly emptied. Think instead of the milk being extracted from the breast as a supply and demand issue. It’s true that milk production is constant. When the breast is less full, the production speed picks up, and as the breast gets fuller, production slows.
Imagine a factory is making and selling a widget. While the widget is in demand, the factory is working quickly to satisfy its customers. If the demand for the widget decreases, so does the speed of production, and the excess stored.
Your baby will also begin to eat closer together as it gets later in the day. There’s a reason for this too. The fat content of your milk is higher which aids your baby in being able to sleep a longer stretch.
So if you just pumped and are trying to build a freezer stash, don’t double whammy your efforts by giving your baby a bottle. This hinders your efforts of creating a stash but, more importantly, tells your body to slow production. Even if you think you’re “empty” when your baby wakes up to eat, go ahead and nurse him. The feeding may take longer but if he’s alert and has a correct latch he’ll still be getting something.
To avoid the longer feedings, try pumping after he eats. Then the baby is satisfied and your stash is able to grow, even if it’s just a little at a time.
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14
Our son wasn’t born sick, but the path from thriving baby to struggling baby happened very quickly.
He was born with both a lip and a tongue tie but of course, we didn’t know that. I have to say, of all the tests care providers run when a child is born, I wish they had checked the mouth for these defects as well.
The first time I ever put my son to the breast, he didn’t take to it well. We did everything right to give him a good start. I’d had the natural birth – medication free, and pulled my baby onto my bare chest the moment he was born for instant skin to skin contact. We’d waited to cut the umbilical cord until it stopped pulsing so he would get as much blood and nutrients as he could from this life source.
We stayed at the birth center for quite a while so that the midwives could be sure he would nurse before we left. Finally, after help latching each time someone checked on us, a bloody nipple, the use of a nipple shield, and a lot of effort and focus on my part, he ate for a reasonable period of time. I didn’t come to breastfeeding unprepared. I had read every article I came across on the topic. I also read cover to cover The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I was completely sold on the importance of exclusively breastfeeding, to include no introduction of bottles and pacifiers or other artificial nipples of any kind. None whatsoever.
We took my newborn son home about 2 o’clock in the morning. My husband and I were anxious to get home. In hindsight, it might have been good to rest at the birth center a little longer or to have asked for help once we were home, but Mother and Baby were both doing well so we were allowed to leave. That first half night was a blur. My husband and I were both excited, exhausted, and completely taken with this little person God had given us charge over. Our son slept on my husband’s chest for the first several nights of his life. We never wanted to put him down. He was so precious and so cuddly.
I guess the next couple feedings went okay. I don’t remember thinking anything was wrong. When we woke up for the 6am feeding, he wouldn’t take to the breast again. We struggled. Finally at 10 am I called the midwives. I was told to express colostrum onto my finger and let him suck and just keep doing that for a while. Babies don’t eat much at all those first couple days. Their stomachs are very small, so their meals are small, but frequent. The key in the beginning is getting that nutrient-rich colostrum. My son suckled on my finger for a couple feedings and this effort sparked within him a new interest in nursing. He began to love to nurse, even though he wasn’t good at it, and I was thrilled and none the wiser that he was struggling to get anything.
Lip and Tongue Ties
I had never heard of these birth defects before the Lactation Consultant (LC) came out to our home when my son was 3 days old. My milk had come in and I felt like we could be doing better, so my husband and I agreed to use this resource. My left breast was engorged and I just wanted to be sure everything was going as it should.
The LC was wonderful, kind, and knowledgeable. She taught me a few tricks and taught me how to use my pump correctly. (I thought, “Like I would ever use that thing.” Boy, did I! Looking back, I was much more prideful about breastfeeding than I had a right to be. I was so determined that “this was how it’s going to be” that I didn’t make allowances for mistakes or things beyond my control. This made dealing with all the issues much more difficult for me emotionally. It hindered by willingness to accept and admit that there were any problems, which made it difficult to ask for help.) The LC said we were doing great. She briefly mentioned he might have a lip tie, but he and I seemed to be doing well as a breastfeeding couple, so she gave us an A+ and went on her way.
When he was 5 days old, I about had a meltdown. Ok ok, I had a meltdown. My mother had just left to go back home. As I finished a much needed shower, and exited the bathroom, my husband thrust our upset son into my arms for me to nurse him. He was screaming and crying! He was too upset to eat and it was clear this was exactly what he needed to do. All the books and articles and care providers said newborns needed to eat every two hours, but he didn’t keep to this at all. He was showing all the signs of hunger but wouldn’t nurse. He was frustrated, as was I because he wouldn’t nurse. To put it bluntly, we were a hot mess!
This hot mess called my cousin who had sent me a text the day before to say, “If you’re having any trouble breastfeeding, give me a call anytime. No matter what time it is.” At this point, I just needed to talk to someone I didn’t have to pay, so I gave her a call.
So there I was, sobbing, face and chest red-streaked, still naked from my shower, holding my screaming newborn. My hair was wet, unbrushed, and tangled, and she said, “Let’s FaceTime.” There’s something about the progression of pregnancy and then the final act of labor that eventually sucks away all your modesty until you just don’t care anymore. Take heart. It does come back….eventually.
To be honest, she didn’t tell me anything I hadn’t either read or been told previously. However her kindness, loving encouragement, and support were exactly what I needed to get through the night.
Let me take this opportunity to say how important having good support is when it comes to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding may seem like the simplest, most intuitive thing in the world, but complications can arise and when they do, it can be one of the most difficult things in the world. Fatigue, fluctuating hormones, and fear of being a good parent can make it difficult to ask for help. So even if your only support is a Facebook group, or a single friend or care provider, reach out to them. It can, and does, get easier – even with complications.
We went in for his one week appointment and he had lost weight. This is expected in all newborns, but typically their birth weight should be regained by two weeks of age. When we went in for his two week appointment, he had lost even more weight. This started the beginning of supplementing. Remember how I was very anti-artificial nipple? Well, I was (and still am) even more anti-baby-choking-coughing-and-aspirating-while-using-a-dropper. He just didn’t know how to take food from it and my husband and I sat there and wept struggling to feed him, while I pumped to keep him supplied with breast milk.
We went in for weight checks every few days. Eventually, we just borrowed a scale to take home. Each time the routine changed because he wasn’t gaining enough. My supply suffered and we went from 100% breast milk, to using a formula (yes, I was anti-formula too) called NeoSure, a Similac formula for premature babies. It has extra calories per ounce and helps babies put on weight faster. I have since learned that there is also the option of using donated milk. Look up an organization near you to learn more about this option.
My son regained his original birth weight by four weeks of age.
Lactation Consultant
We continued to work with the LC. She was a huge reason I continued to breastfeed as she was so very supportive and encouraging. She was constantly brainstorming on how to make breastfeeding easier and more efficient for us. One of the first things she taught us to help with our new supplementing routine was the paced-bottle technique. See technique here. It was also recommended that we use Dr. Brown’s bottles. They are special bottles that have a piece on the inside to help with the aeration and keep the baby from getting gassy.
We broke our rule on “no pacifiers” too. When you’re worried that your baby is crying away all the calories he needs to grow, you get over yourself and your rules pretty quickly.
My husband and I saw my son successfully gain weight on the formula we were given, but we desired for our son to go back to breastfeeding completely, if that was at all possible. We knew of all the benefits to breastfeeding, and we wanted our son to reap them. Our goal was that one day he would be exclusively breastfed.
SNS
We started to decrease his supplements. I can’t remember exactly what that looked like. Our routine seemed to change every week and so sometimes what transpired was a blur. I do remember when he was about 6 weeks old we tried to exclusively breastfeed again. He stopped gaining weight. So we quickly went back to formula again.
The LC carefully recommended I try to use SNS or Supplemental Nursing System. (I say carefully because she did not want me recommending to others. She said that babies have to have a good ability to suck and swallow correctly or they can aspirate so please consult an LC if you are interested in using SNS.)
If you aren’t familiar with SNS, it is a bottle hooked up to small tubes you tape to your breast near the nipple. It’s very contraption-y. The flow to your baby can be controlled by pulling the tubes through notches. For some, giving supplements through SNS can be a great way to transition a baby back to the breast. For others it can be a nightmare.
Conceptionally, SNS is easy to use. In practice it can be tricky. There is an element of trying to hide it from the baby. These young little tykes are smarter than you might think, even at only weeks old! We didn’t want him to see the bottle hanging from my neck, and thus, a visual cue for him to eat. I personally struggled with getting his supplement the right temperature if it had been in the fridge. Most of the time I didn’t time the preparation correctly to get it warm enough before a feeding was required. So obviously there was a noticeable temperature difference when using cold pumped breast milk as a supplement. When using formula, the challenge wasn’t the temperature but the noticeable taste difference.
One comic relief throughout this whole process, was the look on my son’s face when we gave him formula. It was almost like giving a lemon to a baby, but not perhaps, as intense. I used his noticeable preference for the taste of breast milk to fuel my determination to continue to breastfeed.
Let’s face it, up to this point, breastfeeding had been a challenge – and one I didn’t expect. Feedings took twice as long because not only would I nurse him, then give a bottle (Thank God for my wonderful husband), but then I would pump as well. I also realized that all the switching from side to side frustrated my son. All he wanted was to eat. Although, he preferred the breast, (something I was thankful for because many babies turn to preferring the bottle due to the ease of the flow) this did not fill his tummy, so I’d remove him from the breast and switch to the bottle. SNS did help to streamline the supplementing process.
Another challenge, which is comical to write about in hindsight, was that the tubes can easily be pulled to “open the gate” if you will. So a squirming baby, or a move to switch from one side to another, often resulted in a mess. Once the gate is opened, liquid is coming through it until it’s closed again.
I remember one night I tried to use SNS during a feeding and I was so tired. My son was not hungry – he was hANGRY, which was typical for his mid-night feeding. I couldn’t find the cord that allowed the bottle to hang from my neck. I had taken it off to clean. So I carefully propped the bottle on my chest. The struggle was I couldn’t move fast enough. I would get him latched, then try to release the tube, and since he wasn’t getting anything, he’d unlatch himself. Of course, he did this about the same time I released the tube, which caused milk to go everywhere. As you can imagine this became a crazy cycle – one that resulted in my son screaming in frustration, me in tears, and my husband bottle feeding him.
All things considered for my son and me, the SNS was helpful. The flow was there which kept my son interested since he still wasn’t capable of transferring milk effectively. At the same time, the suckling of my little one helped maintain my supply. He wasn’t frustrated and we were on the right path towards exclusively breastfeeding.
I stopped using SNS once my son realized this whole feeding thing would go a lot faster if he just sucked on the tube and he stopped trying to latch. After this, we were on the right track to more breastfeeding. We were down to half the formula we had started with and supplemented with 4 bottle feedings (8-12 oz) a day, each one after time at the breast, after which, I would pump.
Speech Pathologist
The plain and simple truth was my son wasn’t holding up his end of the deal. Successful breastfeeding takes two and he wasn’t extracting the milk he needed. He fell asleep on the breast after less than five minutes and never initiated a letdown. He lacked vigor and I had no clue how to teach him that.
The LC recommended a speech pathologist, which upon her suggestion I thought sounded absolutely absurd for an infant. Well, eventually I broke down and scheduled our appointment with the SP. We saw the improvement the exercises she gave us made in our son, I felt guilty for not calling her earlier. He had weak cheeks; a quivering, tired jaw; and a thin tongue. Who knew “weak cheeks” were a thing?! Although his tongue had good range of motion after releasing the tie, he wasn’t using it correctly.
The exercises she assigned us were easy, fast, and worth every penny we didn’t have. My son actually enjoyed the exercises and we saw a little improvement by the following week, which continued thereafter.
Increasing Milk Supply
My milk supply was suffering. My LC said she thought it had reached the glass ceiling. I have to admit I was devastated by her saying this. I wasn’t willing to believe all this hard work was for nothing. After some research, I decided I wanted to help my supply with domperidone, a prescription medication that has a side effect of increased lactation, although this is not its original purpose. Before I got the medication, I realized throughout all the changes in routine and special systems we had used, I had forgotten some of the very basic things that aid breastfeeding efforts.
I cannot emphasize the importance of doing your due diligence and researching on your own. Heeding the advice of others is a good practice, however, in those early weeks especially, my husband and I felt lost. Finally, we agreed, it was time to take back our parenting. What this meant for us was taking all advice with a grain of salt, figuring out what options we truly had, looking at our end goal, and weighing that against the progress and health of our son. We still listened to all the advice given to us, but each piece had its proper place and our own critical thinking was crucial to make it work for our family.
In my research, I read an article on increasing supply. See article here. This was what helped me remember the breastfeeding basics.
Two of these things were increased time at the breast and lots of skin to skin. So when my son was 10 weeks old, I took a nursing staycation and did just that. I relaxed and stopped stressing about my supply (stress is a worst enemy when it comes to increasing milk supply). I didn’t worry about if he was getting enough and just kept him on the breast as much as possible. If he needed a supplement to top him off, so be it.
Giving it to God
Throughout this process I began to pray much more specifically. I asked God to please bless our breastfeeding effort. I prayed for my son to get enough from the breast. I pleaded, “Lord, you said just as we desire to give our children good gifts, so you desire to give us good gifts. The best food I can offer my son is what you designed my body to give him. My husband and I have done all we know to do and have been advised to do. We thank you for the knowledgeable people you have surrounded us with. We thank you for the growth we have seen in our son. Thank you for our son. I ask you, Father to please let my son get enough at the breast. Please give me an over abundance so we can be certain he’s getting enough. Our desire is to exclusively breastfeed our son but we can’t do it without you. Please give him this good gift.”
I believe giving it up to God and going back to basics were the most helpful things we did. My son had a growth spurt/frequency feeding during this time of our nursing staycation and my body responded well to it. I was thrilled!
We kept reducing the frequency and volume of the supplements we were giving my son. One day, his dependency on them had decreased to the point where I was pumping enough that we were able to stop giving him formula.
By week 12, my son was getting 100% breast milk, with only a morning and an evening bottle. One day we realized he didn’t need them anymore. My son still took a bottle almost every morning for a couple more weeks. (I have never been a morning person. After getting up all through the night with our little boy, my ability to be more human than zombie hangs by a thread.) My loving husband, whom God blessed with morning humanness, got up with my son about 5 or 6 each morning to give him this feeding while Mommy took a nap. Somewhere between 3 and 4 1/2 months, his feedings timed just right to where he didn’t take a bottle at all.
My husband and I give God the glory for this success story. At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to “let go and let God”, which is what I should have been doing in the first place.
Since 3 months, my son exclusively breastfeeds – very well I might add. With a lot of prayer, a lot support, perseverance, and some more prayer, it can be done!
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
