My Heart is Heavy Over This Topic

As a new Mother of my 15 month old son, I have come to realize that my responsibility is first to my family: my husband and my child.

Living in a Bubble

I was recently told that I and my family live in a bubble and don’t have a grasp on reality.

This is not the first time I have been accused of not recognizing “reality” as it pertains to not wishing my family or myself to be around those who consistently have a negative impact on us. It is these same people who justify their negative impact claiming that is just reality. I beg to differ…

Guarding Hearts and Minds is a Biblical Concept

A big part of my role as a parent is to train my son yes, but also to protect him from outside influences that could harm his development.

There are some really bad situations kids have to deal with in our society today, like abuse, neglect, and more, all of which can negatively impact a child, both emotionally, physically, and mentally. No one would question blatant protection from these circumstances, at all costs.

However, what about the impact of negativity? What about the impact of dishonesty or false perceptions? I don’t think anyone would disagree that a person’s worldview and self-image could be very impactful on a child.

Blood is Thicker than…

It’s not a popular response to distance oneself from well-intentioned family members who bring negativity or harmful perspectives into your home, especially if you were once a part of that person’s immediate family as a child.

Should we protect our children from these, even though they are “family”? Even if they express love for us? Or should we expose them to these people and situations because “well, you can’t be over-protective” or “they need to be prepared for the “real world” anyway”.

My answers in short: Yes, we should protect our children from negative people and situations, even if those people are well-meaning members of our family. No, it’s not being over-protective or unrealistic to put this protection in place over your children and your family.

It’s not a question of if they love us or our children. The concern lies in the harmful impact they may have on our children. Here are a few personality or behavioral types that many people may come across. Every situation is unique, so you will have to choose what is right for your family.

Undermining Authority

Are these people constantly undermining your role as a parent in front of your children or do they support your decisions and your disciplines even if they disagree with them? Are they disrespectful of your and/or your spouse in front of your child? Children, even very young children are very observant, and they are taking in everything. Rest assured if they are consistently exposed to someone who questions you or disrespects you, your children will pick up on that.

Negative Nancy

Sorry if your name is Nancy, but you know the type. Is there a person who never has anything good to say…ever? You know who I mean. With these people, each story, each answer drips with anger, disparity, tension, distain, aggression, intensity, and attitude and once they have left your presence, the air immediately feels lighter and you feel like you can breathe again. If you can feel it, so can your children. It can be difficult to distance yourself from people you care about who are like this because oftentimes they need help. But there is a heaviness and a sadness that can be difficult to handle for an adult, let alone a child, so try to limit these exposures to your kids.

Lifestyle Justifiers

Our first responsibility is to our families.