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Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?
Like so many others, my husband and I felt the sting of trying and seemingly failing to conceive a child.
About three years into our marriage, we decided we were ready to start a family. Naturally, we believed pure willpower and the act of not preventing was enough to accomplish this. So that very month, when it didn’t happen, we were terribly disappointed.
I took it much harder than my husband did. Let me rephrase. I took it personally. After months of my period rearing its ugly head while bearing the news that I was not pregnant. I was certain I was barren. I admit that, somehow, rational or not, I felt like less of a woman for not “accomplishing the task” of pregnancy.
Movies and television make getting pregnant seem like a commonplace accident or at times even vindictive trick. And while unplanned pregnancies certainly occur, it’s not as “easy” as it is often portrayed.
If you’re feeling down because you’re not pregnant yet, take heart. I’m a firm believer that God’s timing is perfect timing. My husband and I tried for three years before getting pregnant with our son. (Naturally, I might add.)
People told us “Once you stop trying, you’ll get pregnant.” To this day, I still don’t know how to mentally or emotionally stop trying. I was not good at following this advice as that’s all I could think about. However, after three years, my husband and I figured it probably wasn’t going to happen. Maybe that wasn’t God’s plan for us. We decided to buy a couch set. I was pregnant within the month.
The timing of my pregnancy was definitely God’s timing. I had to come to the point where when i prayed, I said, “God, my husband is enough…for the rest of my life, he is enough.”
What I have realized after I got pregnant is we seemed to appreciate and enjoy the pregnancy journey so much more than we would have if we had conceived earlier in our marriage. It was something we had just expected, rather than a gift we had asked God for and been blessed with. It became a time in our lives that we truly cherished.
Despite the morning sickness, the aches and pains, the hormonal out-of-body experiences (seriously, there’s nothing like those hormones), and the difficult task of natural labor, I truly enjoyed my pregnancy and kept a pregnancy journal. I honestly have never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. I felt like a woman. All the months I had not conceived left me feeling wanting. I had felt inadequate as a woman. I now felt purposeful in body.
When it came to my husband, I cherished him rather than curse him for his contribution, and I thanked God for this wonderful gift of life growing inside me. It was a beautiful journey that was the segue into the wonderful (and scary!) current adventure that is motherhood.
To any readers who may be feeling the struggle of trying to conceive. Take heart. Lift your struggle up in prayer. It’s good prayer warrior training for all the praying you’ll do once you are pregnant, and your need will increase exponentially again once your child is born. Remember, it is God that opens the womb.
See: 1 Samuel, Chapter 1 for the story of Hannah, who prayed for her child, Samuel.
“It came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked him of the Lord.” 1 Samuel 1:20 NASB